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My blog generally focuses on dating and relationships. But what happens when it all goes wrong? For me, I got a book out of it. I also met a wonderful woman! Today guest blogger Kevin Thompson wants to talks about common pitfalls after a breakup. Kevin writes about breakups and reconciliation at his blog unbreakup.org and has joined us today to share some tips on what not to do.
Three Common Pitfalls after a Breakup
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
How do you make a fool of yourself after a breakup? It’s quite simple, just follow your gut feeling. You will end up doing the things you will probably regret for the rest of your life. Our natural reactions to a breakup are supposed to drive our ex and every other potential suitor a mile away from us. It’s almost like we were wired by evolution to be embarrassed. Here is a list of incredible foolish things you shouldn’t do after a breakup; you’ll probably do anyway.
1. Trying to be Friends
You know who is your best friend after a breakup? You. Not your ex! I don’t know if it’s the American sitcoms or our innate ability to do things to screw up our mental peace that makes us think that being friends with an ex is a good idea. Aren’t your friends supposed to make you feel better? If every time you see your ex, you feel worse, then you can’t really be friends with your ex. Besides, you don’t want to be friends with someone with whom you can never discuss your dating life. (Lawrence’s note: see my own blog on friends with the ex)
2. Calling and Texting Your Ex
Every time I called my ex, I was hoping she’d realize that she still matters to me and I will be there for her whenever she needed me. What she actually realized was that I was a pathetic loser who didn’t have anything interesting to talk about and it was better if she just stopped picking up my phone. All the conversations would start with “How are you doing?” and they slowly waded off to the boring “Oh, that’s good. I am glad that you are having so much fun.” And then to the increasingly embarrassing “Do you think we still have a chance?”
Take it from me and millions of other heartbroken idiots who learned it the hard way, calling your ex is not going to help you at all.
3. What’s Wrong With Me?
Then there is a time when you just can’t stop wondering what the heck is wrong with you. Is it possible that you are just unwanted? What if there is something so inherently wrong with you that no one can stand to be with you for more than a couple of months. Sure, your ex stayed with you for an entire year, but that’s only because she was such an angel and she tried her very best to make this relationship work, despite your many flaws.
In case, you don’t realize it yet, that’s just the type of hogwash your mind feeds you when you don’t accept that the breakup happened because you two were not compatible for each other. Not because you don’t live up to the standards of a charming man set by cheesy women’s magazines. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, since you are reading this article, I will say you are pretty darn attractive.
Kevin is the author of “The UnBreakup Guide”. He writes about breakups and getting back together at his website unbreakup.org.
