By Erin Sorensen
Former Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe has a Twitter presence whether he wants it or not. When asked if he had ever seen his parody account, @DanBeebe, Beebe’s response was simple, “That guy’s funny.”
With nearly 16,000 followers, “Danny Dan” has created quite a fan following while sharing interesting tidbits about his everyday life, or as he calls it now, “the buyout life.” I was fortunate enough to sit down with “Dan Beebe” and get some insight into his views on the state of college athletics and life after his Big 12 tenure.
Erin: Hi Dan. Thank you for taking the time to answer a few questions for HuskerLocker.com. How are you today?
DB: I'm spectacular. Danny Dan was made for the buyout life. I'm having a snifter of Danny Dan Juice as we speak. I mean hey, it's Friday, right?
Erin: Alright, let’s get to it: What is life like for Dan Beebe now?
DB: I get up at about noon, noon-thirty, maybe one or two, flip on QVC for the latest deals and then decide if I want to go play 18 or not wear pants that day. I usually choose no pants.
Erin: Have you taken up any new hobbies that you didn’t have time for before?
DB: Well, Texas A&M and Mizzou have opened me up to the world of the SEC, and now I have time to figure out just what's so special about that conference. After listening to the Paul Finebaum Show, all I can deduce is that “fanbases filled with Tebow-humping hillbilly conspiracy theorists" has a much more powerful draw than I ever could have imagined.
Time for drink number two.
Erin: It appeared that after you were fired as Big 12 commissioner that you were done with Twitter. What brought you back?
DB: I couldn't easily desert my thousands of fans in the #BeebeNation. To that end, I find that it is important to network and help those that I respect. Right now, in fact, I'm working on getting my good buddy Rick Neuheisel back in the college ranks, and I think with the right amount of Direct Messages to Bill Byrne, we can do it.
Erin: You have nearly 16,000 followers on Twitter. How does that make you feel?
DB: It's a wonderful feeling. 2,000 more people and I'll have more followers than Baylor's average football attendance.
Erin: Do you want to be the commissioner of any other conference? If so, which one?
DB: I've never really thought that the Big Ten has done things the right way because if I was going to take a school from another conference I DEFINITELY wouldn't send me a text message that says “everything's cool” because it WASN'T COOL, DELANY.
I mean, I never really liked Tom Osborne and I'm about 50 percent sure he's some sort of Dementor from Harry Potter or something but it was still backhanded how that whole process was handled.
So the Big Ten, I guess.
Erin: A Craigslist ad was posted this week that many determined was about needing seat-fillers for the Big Ten Championship game in Indianapolis. If you were in Jim Delany’s shoes, how would you have avoided this situation?
DB: Here's how I would avoid that avalanche of crapness. I would hold my conference title game in Cowboys Stadium. I would make sure Texas or Oklahoma was in it every year. And I sure as hell would figure out a better city than Indiangoddamnapolis to send fans for a football game.
WAIT, I ACTUALLY DID ALL THOSE THINGS, AND YET JIM DELANY HAS A JOB AND I DON'T! RIDDLE ME THAT, BATHUSKER!
Erin: Another rumor started circulating today that Mack Brown plans to retire after this season. Care to comment?
DB: No, YOU need to cut back on the Danny Dan Juice. I’m AN ADULT. I GET TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS ABOUT ME.
Erin: Speaking of Texas, The Longhorn Network – What are your thoughts?
DB: I JUST SAID RWHAT M Y THUOFHTS WERE GET ME morE DANNY DAN JCIUE
Erin: Who do you think will win the Heisman Award this year?
DB: I THINK CRAIG JAMES WILL PRAOBEBLY WIN THE NEXT FIVE FOR HISE TIME AT SMU AND THEN LOSE EM AND WE'LL ALL BE LIKE #REMEMBERTHESMU5
oH WAIT #BAYLORTARP4HEISMAN
Erin: What about the National Championship?
DB: the nahtoinal chpampingonship is probaly goi ng to be lplatyed by LSU and ALabama, whichsounsds okay to me becauoe if therets one thing wer all werre thinkgjng after ther first time rthey played, iut was GIME SICXTY MOREJ MOINUTES OF THATA
dannydanjuuuuuuuuuuiiiicccceeeeeeeeeeee
Erin: What bowl do you predict Nebraska will go to, who will they play, and what will the score be?
DB: ahahahahahah my vote is taeg theys shouled go to the insighte bowl and htaet zombie biill snyder acan be all like GIVE ME PELINIS BRAINS then when he gets to bo and finds tahtw all thats inside is a warm goo he wont have any brains to eat adn i guess the corn mihgt win
Erin: Any final thoughts for the Nebraska fans reading this?
DB: hoep ruuyou ajhve ofun uitjkj n jyou r bigh TEN OH OUYOU HAVE SO MANT YTHEAMS HNOW HEHT SELL OUTH ITS THE JAN ROBEOHJ GARPAOEEE
Erin: Thank you again for taking the time to chat with me, Dan. I very much appreciate it.
DB: Cheaourehighilbilbfslfbslhfbsibfshlpizza…
**@DanBeebe is a parody account and is in no way associated with the real Dan Beebe.**
Follow “Dan Beebe” on Twitter: @DanBeebe
Follow Erin on Twitter: @helloerinmarie
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