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BUCN Perfect : Justin Dunio and Campbell Sproul: Future Pirates GMs

By Kipper @pghsportsforum
Yesterday, what started out as joke on twitter about firing Neal Huntingdon, turned into a really funny interview with two of our fellow bloggers, Justin Dunio and Campbell Sproul. I told them I fully supported their campaign to become GMs, and they asked that I write a piece about why. These guys know their baseball inside and out. So I picked their brains for a few hours…
G: What do you think about Charlie Morton’s chances?
CS: He’s got electric stuff but he needs to work on his approach.
JD: You have a better chance of seeing Jesus that seeing this guy be above average.
G: Do you think that Ray Searage is the human Lorax?
CS: If Searage is the human Lorax, does that make the Lorax the Lorax pitching coach/reviver of veteran Lorax relievers careers?
(**I still have no idea what that means…LOL)
G: What would you two do with Barmes?
JD: It might not be popular, but I’d consider selling him to a human trafficking organization in Mexico. Get some value…
CS: Clint Barmes? I’m sorry, I thought we were talking about baseball players. Next question.
G: What are your thoughts about Russell Martin playing right field last night?
CS: I liked it as a onetime managerial move, but not sure I would make it a regular thing. Defensively, Martin in RF > Jones in RF.
JD: In the last 28 days, Martin is batting .200. You hate to lose that bat in the lineup, so you find somewhere for him.
G: How are we going to get the Fort to throw to the ball and actually make it to second base?
JD: It’s not going to happen. We throw him behind the plate every so often so we have something to laugh about…
CS: McKenry’s arm isn’t all that bad, but he’s trying to channel his mentor, Rod Barajas. It’s a tribute to him.
G: How do you plan on generation some offense to support our amazing pitching staff? #sharktank
JD: We have no plans for that… Next question?
CS: That’s Clint Hurdle’s job. We understand he intends to teach every hitter to bunt for a grand slam with the bases empty.
G: How many pieces of bubble gum does Clint Hurdle chew at one time?
JD: Usually an entire pack of Bubble Yum.
CS: He told me at spring training that he starts each game with 8 pieces of double bubble, and chews them all game (no joke).
G: How are we going to utilize Zagurski going forward?
CS: As a pitcher? I don’t know. He’s our most valuable asset in beer pong games, though.
JD: Is this a trick question? Zagursky? We keep meaning to send him down to AAA, but we keep forgetting. Oops!
G: Should we put a beer pong table next to the shark tank for him?
JD: Definitely not. There’s a strong possibility that he’ll miss the cups and put a hole through the shark tank.
G: Can Pedro do anything else besides homer and strike out?
JD: No.
CS: Looks like Justin has this one covered.
G: In light of the recent PED scandal, why do you think none of the Buccos have ever come under suspicion?
CS: Because our offense is so bad, nobody would believe it, even if you showed them a positive test from a Pirates player.
JD: Most Pirate players do not make enough money to afford the services offered by Biogenesis.
G: How do you feel about Cutch’s performance so far this year?
JD: Cutch has been a disappointment so far this season. Maybe expectations are too high after last season though.
CS: I don’t feel that he’s been “bad” but he hasn’t performed as we hoped he would either.
G: Will he get back to that level this year or not?
JD: There’s always a possibility, but he may never do what he did last year again. Fairly unprecedented…
CS: No. His season last year was just unreal. Once in a career. Will be a career .290, 27-30 HR, 90-105 RBI guy.
G: Do you think AJBs record is a correct reflection of his pitching so far this year?
CS: Absolutely not. Wins are the worst indication you can use to figure out how good a pitcher is.
JD: Absolutely not. AJ hasn’t received the deserving run support. He should have a minimum of 6 or 7 wins at this point. Not necessarily though Campbell. Not many 12 win pitchers win the Cy Young, even if their numbers are solid.
CS: True. Just saying you can tell a lot more about how the pitcher has performed based off of other numbers.
G: What do you think about Jeff Locke shadowing AJB? Seems like it’s been working.
JD: Jeff Locke has been incredible. Just imagine how good he’ll be when he hits puberty.
CS: I don’t know, it seems to be working well so far. Locke just needs to get a few more tattoos, and he’ll be the real deal.
G: Do you think we’re hitting out slump right now?
JD: What makes you think that? They need to turn this around right now before they’re too far behind.
CS: It’s definitely been a rough week, but I don’t expect the slide to continue. Offense needs to pick up a bit more.
G: Do you think we will finish with a winning record this year??
JD: History tells us not to get too excited about early success. It’s a long season…But I do think we break .500 this year.
CS: Yes. 85 wins. Lots of ball left to play, lots of contingencies, but I think the boys get it done.
G: Why do you think Marte gets hit by pitches so much? His fault or pitchers fault?
JD: His fault. He crowds the plate and doesn’t get out of the way. The HBP today was almost a strike.
CS: His fault. Crowds the plate too much. Good to know that he thinks the plate belongs to him though.
G: Lloyd McClendon stole that base the one time. Maybe Marte wants one too? LOL
JD: Don’t ever compare anything to Lloyd McClendon’s base stealing episode. That’s one of my favorite memories.
CS: No comment.
G: I won’t do it ever again. My sincerest apologies.
JD: No worries…
G: Who should be out top 3 draft choices?
JD: I’ll give you 3 guys we should consider with 1st 2 picks- C Reese McGuire, 3B DJ Peterson, or OF Austin Wilson.
CS: Is Mark Appel still available? LOL
JD: Think we should consider trading up to draft him? Just to get another good comp pick next year? Hurdled…
G: Last question, off topic, are the Pens gonna bring the heat and get the W tonight?
JD: Yes…Since you’ve completed your interview, do we have what it takes?
CS: Yes they will.
G: I think you do!!
JD: I have to admit, G is a good interviewer. Solid questions.
CS: I agree.
G: We need to do this again in a few months!!
CS: I’m down for it anytime. It keeps my mind working up new ideas, and hopefully it helps you out as well.
JD: I’m game… It was pretty funny. Like Campbell said, maybe a creative idea comes from it.
Big shout out and thanks to these two guys for being good sports and taking the time to answer my questions!! Justin Dunio writes for Black and Gold Review as well as Pittsburgh Sports Forum, and Campbell Sproul writes for Rum Bunter. You can find them on twitter @jdunio and @CampbellSproul. Very good sources of information for anything Pirates baseball. I can’t thank them enough for allowing me to quiz them for three hours straight yesterday!!

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