I had planned on writing this post as soon as I got home from my OB appointment. Instead, I cleaned my house, mopped the floors, and made a batch of banana pancakes. Anyone who knows me well, understands that this behavior is a nervous response. Once I hit about 8 weeks, I haven’t had any worries in my pregnancy. The baby has been healthy. My blood tests have come back normal. My weight gain has been appropriate.
But today, my OB expressed what I call, “slight concern.” My fundal height (the measurement of my stomach/uterus) was behind schedule. “Nothing significant,” she assured me but not without ordering an ultrasound to make sure Lucy was growing the way she should be. Of course, that ultrasound couldn’t be scheduled until later next week. Not good for a mama who is prone to anxiety and worry. My sweet husband reassured me on the way home. He prayed over us, and we both felt Lucy move at his touch. Often, taller women carry their babies more internally. We have more room for our uterus to expand inside. In all likelihood, we’ll go to our ultrasound next week and see a healthy and growing little girl. But I still needed to clean the house and bake when I got home from the doctor. I still worry that something might not be right: my placenta isn’t giving her enough nutrients, the cord is deficient, etc, etc…
Yet then I remember that by worrying, I do nothing but send stress hormones through my body and Lucy’s body too. I trust that this baby was meant to be a beautiful and healthy part of our family. I hold onto the little kicks she gives me after I eat something sweet like an apple. And I’m thankful we live in a country where medical care is accessible and often exceptional.
I imagine I’ll do a fair share of baking this next week to curb my anxiety. These brown butter cornbread loaves came about last night, after a relaxing day with my older sister. Cornbread is one of my favorite snacks. I like eating it at meals, but I enjoy a piece late at night even more. This recipe produces loaves much more similar to a corn cake than the traditional southern cornbread. It’s sweet and flavorful. Why I never thought of using brown butter before in my favorite cornbread recipe is beyond me. It adds a wonderful nuttiness to each bite.
Brown Butter Cornbread
1/2 cup butter
1 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup stone-ground cornmeal
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoons salt
In a small skillet, melt butter until it begins to bubble. Swirl butter around pan with a wooden spoon. The butter will begin to “brown” as small flecks form along the bottom of the pan. The butter will take on a nutty smell. Remove from heat as soon as it turns an amber-gold color. Allow to cool for 15-20 minutes before using.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease three mini loaf pans or one regular loaf pan (or an 8 inch square pan). Set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking soda, and salt. In a medium bowl, whisk together brown butter (cooled), eggs, and buttermilk. Fold wet ingredients into dry ingredients until just combined. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan(s). Bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes (mini loaf pans) or 35-40 minutes (regular loaf pan). A toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf should come out clean. Allow to cool in pan for 15 minutes before removing from pans. Enjoy while warm!
