Question: It has been 2.5 years in a relationship with my recent ex. We are in our 40′s. I love him and want to be with him but every time I bring up wanting to be in his life as more than a friend with benefit he gets very angry and tells me he can't give me what I need and want. This has happened about 4 times this past year and he gets more distant with each break up due to the same reason. I also texted him while he was out with co workers and he got really upset. I have never heard him so angry as he answered his phone the last time we spoke when he said he is done. He tells me it is not just me wanting more out of the relationship that frustrated him but "so much more". I told him and wrote him a long letter asking why he won't choose me and all the reasons I feel drawn to him and why I think it could work. Now I realize that was not a good idea. What is the best way to get him to talk to me again? I really love him and don't want to lose him.
Answer: Hi, I am glad that you realized that it is not a good idea to write a long letter to tell him why you think he should choose you and all the reasons you two are perfect together. But what is done is done. Don't fret over it. This is an obvious case of you loving him much more. If you really want to get him back, you need to stop contacting him. You calling him or messaging him only makes him more fed up with you because it shows how desperate and how needy you are. Secondly, you need to stop showing him how much you love him and how much you want to be with him. Guys only want what they cannot have. I also want to advise you not to be friends with benefits with him any more. If he thinks that he can sleep with you any time without any strings attached, he would always want to keep it that way and never want to develop it into something serious. Friends with benefits is every guy's dream arrangement. If you want a serious relationship with a guy, you should never never agree to such an arrangement. You need him to look at you in a new light and see a For that to happen, you first need to stop sleeping with him until he becomes your boyfriend.
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Question: Broke up with girlfriend of 3 years about 7 years ago now, i was 27 when we started going out she was couple of years younger.she was my first love. we got on great together but lived quiet a distance apart .my work as farmer ties me down to my home and she was in college at the time ,she qualified with flying colours and moved to another city away from my home town.and we broke up ,reason being she could not see us having a future together with her living away.
anyway fast forward 7 years now and I still think about her all the time, she moved to Australia over a year ago,but it may be only for 2 years which would be up middle of this year, have not talked to her for a good while now but we exchange the odd txt
my question (sorry for taking so long to get to it) is should I try to make contact and see if she has any feelings for me still,i think I cant accept her reason for the original break up still.if she said she did not love me any more I might be able to move on ,
Answer: 7 years is a long time. People change. Both of your situations have changed. Maybe, things could be different from last time. If you are still not over her and want to find out if she still has feelings for you, you should initiate contact and see what happens. Life is short. Don't spend it wondering what ifs:)
