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BREAKING NEWS: National Treasure Heather O'Neill and That Guy from WireTap Are No Longer a Thing

Posted on the 17 April 2015 by Jennifervillamere
Heather O'Neill, beloved Canadian novelist, poet, short story writer, screenwriter and journalist, is no longer loved up with that guy who records fake calls to his parents and plays them on CBC Radio on Sunday afternoons.
I just heard O'Neill read from her brand new book, Daydreams of Angels (which is fabulous, BTW), at the gritLIT Festival and I can report exclusively that during the Q&A session afterwards, an attendee raised her hand to say that she was first introduced to O'Neill's work on CBC's WireTap program, which is hosted by her rumoured former paramour, Jonathan Goldstein. O'Neill was asked if she would continue to appear on the program.
"No!" said O'Neill. She added, "Haven't you heard the gossip?"
Everyone in the room replied mentally in unison, "No. We are in Hamilton."
Like many, I though her canoodlification with Goldstein was a match made in weirdo Canadiana lit nerd heaven, but it is not so.
BREAKING NEWS: National treasure Heather O'Neill and that guy from WireTap are no longer a thing
Admittedly, I love both O'Neill and Goldstein equally. They are both dear, long-time friends of mine (they just don't know it). I have faithfully listened to WireTap for years, replaying episodes over and over, sometimes up to 70 times (because I'm a psycho). I've adored Heather O'Neill's writing in The Walrus and her books, Lullabies for Little CriminalsThe Girl Who Was Saturday Night, and her new one, which she just signed for me, Daydreams of Angels.

BREAKING NEWS: National treasure Heather O'Neill and that guy from WireTap are no longer a thing

Did you know authors will sign however you ask them to?

But O'Neill is the lucky member of this ex-couple who gets to keep me as a friend (in my imagination).
Even though my daily life is filled with my fanciful imaginings of fostering fruitful friendships with O'Neill and Goldstein (or anyone, really, anyone), in real life, I just met O'Neill for the first time an hour ago and it was 100 per cent like that time Chris Farley interviewed Paul McCartney:
Except I sweat more than Farley.
BREAKING NEWS: National treasure Heather O'Neill and that guy from WireTap are no longer a thing
Me and my forever bestie, Heather O'Neill. gritLIT runs all weekend; is awesome. Follow us on Twitter for more breaking news.
BREAKING NEWS: National Treasure Heather O'Neill That from WireTap Longer Thing

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