Humor Magazine

Birds, Eyeballs and the Devil Rain

By Piecesofmyrandomness @NannaPaskesen

Birds, eyeballs and the devil rain

When the case of me going to town arises, I always wander along the river Thames, and it is always an adventure in the league of Bilbo Baggins’s adventures. I’ve witnessed lots of action both in the air, water and ground walking along that river. One night bats were scattering around. Another day I saw this weird penguin looking bird disappearing under water for a period long enough to have swam to the Titanic – flicked Jack on the nose, and then swam back again. In a staring gaze I investigated it on its return. Who knows – maybe I had just discovered a weird fish-bird which would make up for no one ever finding Loch Ness. Happenings on the ground are ruled by the water rats. I’ve seen a rat eat a banana, I’ve even seen a rat climb a tree. When did rats start climbing trees?! They climb in that ninja way that squirrels do. I’m honored to have witnessed that.

On a wander the other day though, one particular question raised in my bubble of a brain. It was raining, and as I looked up in the sky I noticed a good amount birds flying around in the drizzle of raindrops. I wondered; how do they fly to a destination successfully when they have rain bashing into their eyes every half a second? I assume even Harry Potter throws on a pair of goggles in a rainy game of quidditch. But these birds, they just speed away through wet drops directly pointed at their eyeballs. Without blinking all the time to avoid eyeball rape, how do they fly to the direction they had planned to? How do they prevent sky-high bird stew from happening? You know sometimes when you are “fat slobbing” on the couch, abruptly shocked because a bird flew into your window, well it’s not because they can’t see the damn glass, the rain kept getting in to their eyes, causing them to lose their sense of direction! Poor birds and their eyeballs.

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