It’s strange to think it’s a year since I last wrote a blog post – it feels like the time has gone in the blink of an eye. I didn’t mean to disappear for so long, but somehow, I felt like I didn’t have anything worthwhile to say. Studying seems to have that effect on me – the more I learn and the more I am immersed in other people’s words, the less I feel I have to contribute.
I’ve spent the past year writing and creating works for performance, hanging out with people mostly a decade younger than me, and generally living a life that is about as far away from my old one as possible. Walking away from the path of ‘supposed to’ has been incredibly freeing, exciting and not a little bit unsettling. My peers all have big and important jobs, and impressive salaries. They’re all moving out of London, buying houses, getting married, having babies. We’re in our late thirties now – the time for experimentation is supposed to be over. While I’ve chucked in my secure job and gone down a path of uncertainty and precarity, everyone else I know is settling into security. It’s been hard, sometimes, to be so out of step with everyone else. Going against the grain isn’t easy. But I can’t deny it’s also a lot of fun!
So here I am, embracing the artistic life, and totally uncertain about what the next year will bring. But one thing I do know – I’ll be back in this space, documenting my thoughts, discoveries and adventures – and I’m looking forward to sharing them all with you. Thank you for waiting for me.
