Parenting Magazine

{Best Interests}

By Glasgow_mummy @glasgow_mummy
You might remember in the middle of December I had been wondering about R meeting the children. I had discussed it with their dad, and he was of the opinion that I was being selfish. He said that he would "never introduce a girlfriend to them as it isn't in their best interests".
Fast forward a few months and we're now heading towards the middle of April. The ex told me a few weeks ago that he's been dating someone and he is going to introduce her to the children.
I politely asked her name and how long they had been seeing each other, and left it at that. I could have reminded him of our previous conversation, but thought better of it. I knew at the time he'd change his mind once he'd met the right person.
I briefly mentioned the littlest's party which is happening in a few weeks for her 3rd birthday. It's a very small family affair, no friends - just the cousins.
I perhaps jumped the gun with my co-parenting post in February - I thought I had it all sussed - but it now seems that we may be unable to have joint birthday parties and the like.
You see the ex has said he doesn't want R to be there, it's not appropriate.
Which is fine, we can have separate celebrations.
However I'm happy to meet his girlfriend, and would like to seeing as she's going to be spending time with my children. I don't see what the problem is. Can't we just be grown ups? Yes I imagine it will be difficult to see him with his new girlfriend and it won't be easy for him to see me with R, but that's not the issue here is it. It's the children and it was him that was insistent it was so important we do stuff all together. R is a big part of my life now, and he's also a part of the kids life. Why wouldn't he be there at my daughter's party?
I sent the ex an email to clarify my thoughts on the situation (I'm much better at getting my point across when I write things down, at least I think I am) and have basically said that we'll either both be there or we won't be there at all, but I'm yet to get a response.
For the separated parents out there, do you have birthday parties for the kids where both mom & dad are there with their new partners? Any tips you can share?
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