I don't normally get depressed over age or anything. I grew up in a Family full of optimists who believe you're only as old as you feel (in my 82 year old nana's case, she feels 21 haha!) but turning 31 hit me pretty hard.
When I was 17 I had this idea that by now I'd have a husband, 4 kids, twenty thousand dogs and a partidge in a pear treeeee (if you didn't sing there, you need to re-evaluate your life haha!). Instead, I'm still living at home, I don't drive, I'm single & my preferred form of contraception may aswell be a Chastity belt (which did NOT go down well as a joke to my doctor last week...).
I'm not normally a 'woe is me' kind of lass, but last week I 'overheard' someone passing comment on the fact that I'm 31 and still live at home. I think that's what kicked off my age paranoia mostly. I was a little bit anxious about it prior to this but hearing someone else talking about me that way just fed into my insecurities - People really are arseholes sometimes!
Just to point out, in an ideal world I'd probably have my own place, I'd look like Rachel Bilson, have 101 Dalmations and would be a millionaire with a private jet business that is called 'Holly Air' where the flight attendants earned 'bingo wings' rather than just 'wings' but life isn't an ideal world. We have to take the good with the bad and instead of trying to change it, just roll with it.
I live at home for a multitude of reasons, none of which I need to explain, but I do want to explain, so that other women or men in my position don't feel the pressure I have been.
I live at home primarily because I'm scared of living alone. Of course, finances and location also come into it, but the truth is that I'm just not ready to live on my own and there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. I always imagined that when I left the family home it would be because I was moving in with the man of my dreams, not because I felt the pressures of society.
I also LOVE my family. I mean, most of us love our families, but mines are like my best friends and I can't imagine not waking up and having them there in the morning. I'm definitely not in any hurry for that to change.
I'm kind of drifting a bit, #StandardHolly, but I think what I'm trying to say is that as much as birthday's are fun and is a day dedicated to you, it's also a scary day for some people. Seeing that number rise is a reminder of the things we haven't accomplished and whilst that's depressing to read, I just want you to know that if you're feeling the same way, you're not alone and as hard as it is to believe, it will all work itself out.
31. Jesus.
H x
