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We have all read and been excited by Mr Grey in the Fifty Shades phenomena, I put your questions to a real life BDSM dom and ask about his life with his submissive wife.
BDSM Questions – Real Mr Grey Answers
Zoey:Was your wife a sub to begin with or did meeting U change her to a sub? If so did she take a lot of ‘training’ ?
Mr G: me and wife met through a fetish website but I was her first Dom and she is always training
Sophia: would u play with another Dom/sub couple in the room x
Mr G: yeah, have done played in a dungeon with three couples
Jade: You said on the last post you prefer humiliation rather than punishment – how would you humiliate a sub?
Mr G: depends have her do something naughty but private in public its hard to say it all depends on the sub
Amy-Louise: How do you come across people who are subs/ willing to become a sub?
Mr G: various fetish sites Amy
Zoey: Do you buy her lots of gifts like Mr Grey does? If so are they sex related or regular romantic gifts?
Mr G: yes I do ranges from a flowers to her collar and cuffs they cost nearly 200 quid
Sophia: Is there something you would like to try but haven’t yet?
Would you allow a man to take part in your sessions at any point?
Mr G: not really just love looking for new things. I have had men take part have training couples to Dom and sub.
Sophia: What is your favorite way of inflicting pain? x
Mr G: I stick the principles that work for example breath play can start with a hand on the mouth of throat then to stockings around the throat you just keep changing so it doesn’t become stale but the principles stay the same
Mr G: impact play Sophia spanks and floggers but use things around the house a paddle can cost up to 50 or 60 quid but everyone has a spatula!!
Zoe: ow (spatula)
Jade: Have any of your subs needed to use ‘safe words’?
Mr G: no jade ever new couple should use them. I tend not to because I am a very good judge of character I believe a Dom should never take his sub to the point of needed that safe word as you have already gone past what you should be if she does
Amy-Louise: have you ever trained some1 to become a Dom as well as you have subs?
Mr G: yes I have Amy
Sophia: do you always plan ‘play’ sessions? Or do you just go with the flow?
Mr G: I tend to do some planning but sometime being spontaneous is the best way why plan tying up a sub when you can slip your belt of and do it spur of the moment
Zoe: Does your sub like to get herself in “trouble?”
Mr G: yes lol she likes being bratty especially recently thing she has found that having her breasts flogged and ass spanked turned the sprinklers on down below you know you have to water the lady garden every now and then 
Sophia: if anyone was looking at getting in to kink what sites would you recommend for them to look at?
Mr G: fetlife is very good
Kimberley: Don’t u worry about something’s u do that can lead into injury or has there ever been a serious injury?
Mr G: no serious injury and of course if I’m using something not design for it for example the spatula I will use it on self first a few times know the kind of pain and amount of pain it causes
Sophia: what is the worst punishment your sub has earnt and what did she do to earn it? x
Mr G: she has been pretty good so never really pushed previous sub pushed it too far and knew she had so spanked her in a way to bruise the tips of her bum so sitting was uncomfortable for 3 or 4 days
Zoe: when you say pushed too far what did she do?
Mr G: I go to fetish events she knew the protocols and was really disrespectful to various people just because she wanted to see if I would react it was a really big insult to everyone there it’s hard being a fairly young Dom not 50 plus respect is hard to earn luckily I do have that respect
Tracey: are you as romantic as Mr Grey
Mr G: I like to think I am tracey
Sophia: how should ladies get in touch with you if they want to know more, chat personally or become an online sub to you?
Mr G: if anyone want to get in touch message Emma and you details will be passed on and I will email you
Zoey: Did you jump at the chance to come on here and answer questions or was it something you had to think about?
Mr G: I had to think about it it’s a very big but personal part of me to just talk freely with a lot of new people is hard you don’t know what reaction you will get have had people be like oooh Dom Dom Dom previously at events to people tuting and looking down noses at me
Tracey: aah that’s good to hear as when I was reading the books it’s wasn’t the sex that had me hooked it was the all romantic Mr gray himself
Mr G: it is a balancing act but its deffo not about the sex
Jade: last time I asked you about contracts you said you had them, how long did you contracts usually run for?
Mr G: indefinitely
Mr G: if your sub wants to end it that’s all good it’s the Doms job to make sure they don’t want to
Zoey: Does ur wife not tell us who she is because it’s a private part of your life or because of what people might say to judge or another reason? I’m glad U feel open to talk to new people and glad no one is judging each to their own I say 
Mr G: its all about having you sub hang on your words knowing now if any subs were in here and curious knowing that if I told them to picture their perfect Dom there behind them breathing on them if you gently move your hair from your neck and run a finger down your neck feeling the breath knowing you are doing it and being excited that’s where the power comes from
Mr G: its an amazing feeling knowing that with just the power of words i am able to make subs melt (not meant to sound big headed but been told and seen it )
Jade: Do you have an age limit your subs have to be?
Mr G: 18+
Sophia: what was the age of the oldest sub you have had? x
Mr G: 31 at the time
Kimberley: If your wife said to u she has lost interest of doing all this and told u to stop as well would you ?
Mr G: kim she has previously but came straight back I would find it hard to give up she knows this but I would never ever cheat on her I can have other subs but noting of my body penetrates them
Jade: have you ever been willing to ‘switch roles’ to see what it’s like being on the other side?
Mr G: I wouldn’t switch roles but I studied psychology so analyze everything as have three very close sub friends who I ask for how things feel etc.
Kimberley: Aww she has a nice loyal guy 
Mr G: I use a star system 50 stars gets subby a treat of her picking stars are given when she does things to make life easier so a bj or cooking my tea while I’m at work makes them feel rewarded for the mundanity of life
Sophia: What is your favorite thing a sub could do for u? X
Mr G: I had a rough past bullied at school badly so many broken bones and then took up ice hockey so yet more so my bones ache all of the time so massages and tenderness is always a massive help
Tracey: I know I’ve never been a doormat and never will be, god I must be missing something here like my hubby gets a bj every time we have sex yet some women only give them as treats
Jade: is there anything you don’t like subs doing?
Mr G: I like subs being femine high heels nylons your girls are beautiful so show it off curves dimples small nipples big nipples small breasts big breasts all are perfect for different things
Ali: Its always said the Dom is in charge how is the case when in fact the sub is in charge
Mr G: how do you mean ali
Ali: well as of course with the contract etc Its the sub that basically allows it to go ahead yet if they don’t want to do something etc they use there code word for it to stop so in that respect in fact the sub is in charge the Dom just enforces it
Mr G: Its the Dom who should never take his some to say the safeword keeping the control in his court
Rose: How did you get signed up to it all I.e learning with teachers, contracts etc. Xx
Mr G: stumbled into it did a lot of research went to fetish events spent two years just understanding it all working out how bodies respond to touch etc studied psychology at university and just kept going to events
Ali: it maybe a safe word but for the sub, anything after that safe word is a whole new ball game
Abbi: what sex tips would you give to mums on here who’s partners are always too tired and basically they think there partner has gone off them? X
Mr G:abi if he liked you ass start getting some sexy thongs putting it out there a little make him realize why he wanted you in first place I don’t have a magic wand unfortunately just have to try
Rose: Interesting 
so it’s easy to get into?
Mr G: it’s easy to get into trouble lol there are bad Doms out there looking for a shag and pain rake your time I’m more than happy to guide
Rose: Ha ha I can imagine! Is it hard to eye out the bad ones? Also if you have a person who wants to be a Dom can you learn it together?
Mr G: yeah rose i have trained a number of couples like Dommed the sub but the Dom carries it all out teaching them both
Rose: Thanks sounds good 
Ali: yes i agree there are bad Doms out there but every good Dom knows the safe word is there to protect the sub, so saying that the sub is tech in charge 
Jade: but there wouldn’t be anything after the safe word would they as that means stop? If they say it he’d stop surely ..
How long would you suggest to someone it took to find the right Dom for them? Like are you all the same but have different need or are you all completely different?
Mr G: all completely different there are many players out there giving us a bad name unfortunately jade
Rose: Just wondering is it mostly free like yourself?
Mr G: no there are a lot of people charging I don’t believe it I have been blessed with good advice so would always share
Ali: not all Doms stop though jade u do get some that try n push it further
Mr G: that’s what I’m saying ali a lot do but they are the bad ones that don’t respect the control they have been given when that safe word is said play stops
Rose: That’s alright then, Sounds interesting 
Jade: you said research it before committing to it – what exactly would you research to know if it’s the right thing for you?
Mr G: read stories watch bdsm porn etc you will soo know
Sophia: What would your first task be for a new online sub? X
Mr G: depends on the sub you have to ask something that they can prove so you know you are not going to be wasting you time though its a two way thing
Ali: yeah so that’s what I’m getting at when its comes to a proper sub/Dom relationship the sub is in charge they say what goes n what doesn’t the Dom just enforces it, but as any sort of relationship finding the right is hard to do
Jade: tips for couples wanting to start on the sub/Dom path
Mr G: jade just read things try things start with a little role play naughty school girl try a spanking
Ali: I have found some good n some bad just getting the right one is the harder part
Sophia: How many subs have you got at the moment, apart from your wife? X
Mr G: one but always willing to help others
Zoe: Rather specific question but do you do a lot of anal play and do you find a lot of women object to it?
Mr G: It is a nice as its a tighter hole but a lot of people are creeped out by it
Jade: Go on then a quick question for you both before I go .. are you man and wife first or Dom and sub? know the obvious you’re parents first x
Mr G: Its both, she has 24/7 sub roles but I’m her husband foremost the shoulder to cry on arms to hold before anything else
Zoe: Being a dom.. Does your whole life revolve around it or is it just in the bedroom/playroom?
Mr G: Whole life revolves around it there are 24/7 aspects
