Strange things happen when it is this cold.
Like dreaming up a song about a frigid ornamental grass.
Yes ... I did go there.
Please enjoy the following re-imagined rendition of "Baby, It's Cold Outside".
To aid in your enjoyment of the song, please insert me in the role of the female lead and the ornamental grass as the male lead. But also understand that the grass is encouraging ME to stay outside with it ... I've said too much already. Should probably get fitted for the strait jacket.
One more thing, turn on the volume on your computer and play this song below as you absorb the lyrics:
I really can't stay - Baby it's cold out here
I can't bring you in - Baby it's cold out here
You're good to zone 5 - No way I stay alive
Your roots are good to go - How do I know fo sho?
My wife will start to worry - Please, what is your hurry?
The kids will disown me - They're always so busy
So really I'd better leave - If you do I'm sure to heave
Maybe just a minute more - I promise not to be a bore
The neighbors might think - Baby, it's sucks out here
Is he missing a link? - Like really sucks out here
Nothing I can do for you - Plenty you could actually do
You've survived it all before - Nothing like a temp of minus four
I have to run, run, run - Mind if I accompany you?
You're like totally stuck in the ground - More reason to have you stick around
This is getting strange - No one has to know
Ah, but it's f'n frigid outside
I've got to head in - Oh, baby, I'll freeze out here
Could cut you all down - But the spring ain't that near
You're gonna do fine - Might be eaten by deer
Why don't you see? - How can you turn on me?
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Don't make me sit here and wallow
At least there will be plenty implied - If the temp gets below -20 and I died
I really can't stay - You planted me here
Ah, but it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside
