But I realized over these last 4 years that stepping up even when I wasn't ready is what made me capable to live up to the roles of husband and stepdad. You can't ever be ready for something until you begin to actually do it.
No one is ever ready to have kids which is honestly the highest degree of responsibility a person can have. But after having kids you become ready.
Often we are prepared for our journey by walking the path rather than planning or training for it. There is no training there is only doing.
And when it comes to discipleship we can never be ready for the sacrifices, the responsibility, the trails and tribulations by any other means except jumping into the trenches and getting dirty caring for the poor, the sick, the hungry, the adulteress and the addicts.
Only in the living of a life of discipleship are we prepared for that life. People often wonder what Jesus did between ages 12-30 since those are what's known as the missing years. No one but Jesus really know. But I don't think He was in training of any sort. He was likely living a normal life since no amount of training could prepare Him for His role. He had to simply live it.
His parables were masterful, His teachings were so succinct there have been relevant and timely for 2,000 years. But what if by living the life of the Messiah is what it took to pull that out of Him? I'm not saying anybody could do it but by doing it I think He adjusted to what was needed. And then He delivered it.
His Apostles were zealots, fishermen, tax collectors or publicans, and not one of them had been prepared for their roles either. They learned slowly but they learned. And because they eventually lived up to their callings we have the Gospel preserved.
Jesus only had 12 disciples to spread His message but it went world wide and it depended on each Apostle living up to his calling.
We as Mormons are fond of saying "Every member a missionary." But it is true. We each may be the only experience with a Mormon many will have. And it will be how we treat others, those who can do nothing for us, how we talk to and about others that defines how others see Mormons.
But Christ sees us each as His disciples, as His missionaries. And for me as long as Christ recognizes my faith that's what matters most.
But if we truly love one another as Christcloves us, if we see each other and treat each other as schist would then our Christianity will be recognized by those we meet and His message will find a new home in the hearts of many.
And the only way to be ready, to prepare to live a life of discipleship...is to just live it.
