Society Magazine

All Aboard Part 2

Posted on the 06 May 2013 by Itszappy @itszappy
Continuing from last week's post on my old writing, I'm still riding the nostalgia train and posting an old assignment I found from like eighth grade. Unfortunately, this is completely a true story. We were not as funny as we thought we were. This embarrassment is eternal. I wasn't joking about building a time machine to go back so I can punch myself in the face. As if the title isn't bad enough.
Two Out of Four Teachers Think I Need Therapy
As kids, my cousin, Kennedy, and I enjoyed a particularly cruel game: finding, capturing, playing, and overall traumatizing the small amphibians called toads. The process was always the same order, only the difference was how we played with them. Sometimes we stuck them in dollhouses and played with them like dolls, or we would stick them in cans and see whose would go the fastest, or we'd paint them and throw them back to the pond. However, one particular game has stuck with me forever, and this is what happened:
It was a hot August day, in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa. For those of you who don't know where that is, you're not alone. It's a small town in the country, where the only schools are Mt. Pleasant and Mt. Pleasant. The heat was unyielding, and the humidity curled around our skin and hair like smoke. The wind did little to ease our discomfort, so to waste time, Kennedy and I went down to the pond and threw rotten pears across the water. The mosquitoes and horse flies were terrible, and we soon tired of the putrid smell of the fruit. So we went and caught some toads.
There were three toads in all- Turd, Turd Remix, and Turd the Third. Turd was the largest, and Turd Remix was the smallest. I wish I could say they had some magical quality or characteristic that made them unique- but no, they were the same as all toads. They jumped at the slightest touch, and excrement in our hands as any other toad does. We never played with frogs, except for the rare bullfrog once in a while. Kennedy hated frogs, mostly for their slime and their bulging eyes.
We started out like we usually did, by taking them to her cool basement and trapping them in a fortress constructed by Littlest Pet Shop sets. It was quite a nice development, actually. They had a mall, a house, and a hospital.

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog