His Holiness the Dalai Lama
In our oversexed society, where we are supposed to be super sexy all the time and according to “experts,” be horny all the time too, the topic of celibacy is a strange one. Virtue and chastity used to be the norm only 60 years ago.
Now we are told by various health “experts” how many times were are supposed to be getting our grove on in any given week. This sage advice usually disregards whether the reader is even married or in a committed relationship! “After all, that was so 1950s! Aren’t we past that? Can’t we just have random hookups and not bother with relationships?”
Women are made to feel inferior and ugly if they are not doing the horizontal mambo at least 5 times a week. Men are made to feel less masculine if they are not ready to mate with every half way decent looking woman who crosses their path. In Western Culture, human happiness and sexuality are in complete decay.
I hate to break it to the “experts” who seem to think I need to be spilling my seed all over the place, but human beings aren’t built that way! We are very emotionally complex creatures. And whether some animal rights activists want to argue with me or not, we have something extra that animals don’t: self-awareness. We have the the spark of Divinity within us. We are the sons and daughters of Heavenly Parents.
Our procreative powers carry with them serious responsibilities, not only because we can transmit life to offspring, but because humans are emotionally complicated. We need certain emotional requirements met before we can be physically intimate with another. And it is wrong to try to circumvent and sacrifice the emotional, divine aspect of ourselves for physical gratification!
When did self-restraint become so “unhealthy” and “unnatural”? When did discipline and self-respect become the enemy of happiness? Now I am not, for a minute, going to suggest that a celibate lifestyle is for everyone or should be maintained for an entire lifetime. But there are advantages to celibacy, that the materialistic, instant gratification people seems to have forgotten. Let’s take a look at them:
- Avoid sexually transmitted diseases.
- There is no risk of unwanted pregnancy.
- No marriage to someone solely because of an unwanted pregnancy.
- Save money on contraception.
- Avoid the heartbreak, regret, anger and emotional turmoil that a failed sexual relationship brings. Avoid giving away something precious, only to be left feeling used and worthless.
- Learn how to love unconditionally rather than lust. Relationships based on lust are often doomed to fail, since once the lust that held them together has subsided; it leaves behind a void of emptiness. Relationships based on love are more concerned with the unchangeable inner person rather than outer appearances that are changeable over time.
- Enjoy healthier dating without having to focus on sex. Many couples report that having sex ruined their otherwise strong relationship. They somehow stopped getting to know each other as sex became more and more a focus.
- Enjoy feeling emotionally healthy and stronger, more able to face the future. Many people use sex as an escape from the disappointments and pain in their lives, only to find that sex brings them more problems than it solves.
- Waiting for sex until marriage is likely to increase your chances of a happy and lasting marriage. Studies have shown that people who have sex before marriage have an increased risk of getting divorced.
- Being able to focus your creative powers on a higher purpose or mission.
Notable Celibates
- Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, one of the all time great spiritual figures in Hinduism.
- Jesus of Nazareth.
- Michelangelo Simoni, painter of the Sistine Chapel.
- Leonardo Da Vinci.
- William Shakespeare, Englishplay-write
- George Frederic Handel, German composer who inspired Mozart and Beethoven.
- Carol Channing, the Broadway musical star of Hello Dolly fame was celibate in her marriage to Charles Lowe for 41 years.
- Isaac Newton, mathematian and scientist was a virgin his whole life.
- Mohandas Ghandi.
- J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan.
- Natasha Bedingfield, British singer-songwriter.
- Nikola Tesla,who developed the system of alternating electrical current that is the standard worldwide.
- The Dalai Lama.
- Stevie Smith, British novelist and poet.
- Stephen Fry, British actor and comedian.
- Dr. Temple Grandin, the American autistic academic whose empathy with animals led her to revolutionize animal management systems, is a voluntary celibate.
- Morrissey, the British singer and former member of the Smiths, was openly celibate for several years.
- Lenny Kravitz, American singer-songwriter, was celibate for several years.
- Tom Cruise is rumored to practice a form of celibacy called ‘sublimiation’ in which one abtains from sex during creative projects.
- Nicki Minaj, rap artist.
The only reason I am pointing this out is because we are constantly being sold that sex and a relationship, is the answer to our problems! Maybe it’s time some of us take some time to ourselves, to reflect, grow and explore spirituality and our creative potential?
The is nothing wrong with self-restraint and avoiding sex for a while! Slow down! There is no hurry! You’ll be glad you did.
