You wouldn’t catch Gareth Southgate embroiled in a sex pest text scandal. I highly doubt Southgate even has a Snapchat account (bless him), but if he did, he certainly wouldn’t be using it to pester women half his age for sexy pictures, or telling them about how he made another “slut” dress up as a “pig” for “daddy”. The idea of Southgate, now one of the most beloved and high-profile men in the country, ever bragging about his position as England manager and using it as a pick-up line simply does not compute. If young women were to throw themselves at Southgate (certainly not out of the realms of possibility given how we all are basically in love with him now) he would be courteous and kind to them, he would not take advantage of them, and quite likely he’d pay for a taxi to take them home.
Tory minister Andrew Griffiths is no Southgate. On Sunday, the Mirror revealed that while his wife was presumably caring for their months-old baby, the married MP was bombarding two barmaids he barely knew with messages. When he wasn’t offering them money in return for being “f**king filthy,” he was being tragically boastful: “Daddy has been up making speeches and running the country,” said the minister for small business who, until this week, no-one had ever heard of.
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