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Marquette (11) vs. North Carolina (2): 7:15 p.m. on CBS
I have never been such a fan of heinously colored uniforms as I am tonight. I hope those yellow jerseys, brighter than the sun itself, blind the hell out of Harry Barnes and his baby blue-clad amigos. But the Golden Eagles have a big task ahead of them. And I mean that literally. UNC has an NBA-level front court, led by gigantic muppet beasts John Henson and Tyler Zeller. They remind me of Burt and Ernie – obviously, Henson is Burt with his weirdly oblong head and tiny ears and unibrow. Fine, he doesn’t have a unibrow. He is still adorably funny looking. The muppet tag-team is streaky, but extremely effective. It seems like they take turns dominating, and I fear the day when they figure out how to work in tandem. That is, unless they are making bone-headed mental mistakes like the kind that almost killed UNC last weekend. The final minute of the Tar Heels game against Washington was like a comedy of errors. UNC has eked by so far, but eventually their horrendo free-throw shooting and penchant for turnovers will catch up with them. I am hoping it is tonight, but at worse, I am banking on the Elite Eight.
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Kansas (1) vs. Richmond (12): 7:27 p.m. on TBS
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Ohio State (1) vs. Kentucky (4): 9:45 p.m. on CBS
This is going to be a great game. And, if at all possible, I would like both teams to lose. Behind Door #1, we have Ohio State, the overall #1 seed which has been dominant in the tourney so far. Jared Sullinger is averaging 17.1 points and 10 rebounds per game; he is a powerful beast. They have Jon Diebler, Aaron Craft, and David Lighty, who are all capable of lighting it up from the field. Seriously, Ohio State is scary good. They are ranked 8th in defensive efficiency across the nation and first in defensive free-throw rate. So, don’t plan on going to the line often and don’t plan on scoring easily. But pencil in some turnovers, because the Buckeyes are going to force them. No means yes in the Midwest? All I know is that Ohio State is capable of making anyone its bitch. So, all in all, Door #2 is probably the better option, right?
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VCU (11) vs. Florida State (10): 9:57 p.m. on TBS
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It is Friday, bitches. Go be the best Golden Eagle fan you can be.