Written by guest blogger: Nicole D. Miller
I used to be a huge proponent for courtship versus dating. My understanding of dating was that there is very little wisdom, there is no clear purpose on being with that person and there is a greater potential for heartbreak. Having had the experience of heartbreak more than once I wanted to avoid it as much as possible!
So I advocated for courtship since I didn’t want to be “out there”, I didn’t want to be broken-hearted and I didn’t want to waste my time entertaining someone who wasn’t the someone (am I alone in this?). But now that I am a little older (and hopefully wiser) I’m learning about balance.
I’m learning that though my intentions have been God honoring and my views were coming from a sincere desire to please Him, they were not necessarily the healthiest viewpoints for me.
The blessing in being more balanced is that you get away from extremism. Whenever there is extremism there is opportunity for deception, delusion and even pride. Paul (previously known as Saul) understood extremism.
He was, in his own words, a “Hebrew of Hebrews”. He was so zealous in his belief that he actually thought he was doing the work of the Lord by killing God’s people! He was delusional. Extremism can take us there.
Previously I may not have been that extreme in my belief about dating, I was open to others dating, I just did not think it was wise for me to. I did not think I could guard my heart when connecting with multiple people. And looking back I was probably right. Okay, okay, I was right. But there are different seasons of life.
There are different ways God is working and moving and shaping us in His image and so I find myself being more open these days. I find myself having conversations and going out for meals and placing more value on honoring a person for who they are instead of trying to see if they are my spouse.
This is a good practice for me. It is good to remember people are to be honored simply because they are in the image of God, not because they can fulfill a need you have.
It has taken me time to get to this place, and I am still growing, but time has benefited my growth process.
I do think dating can be misused, but now I’m learning it is about the person using it. If that person is more mature, less selfish, and a little wiser, well, she just may be able to experience healthy male interaction in a safe environment in the context of dating.
~Nicole D. Miller
Visit Nicole’s blog … His Love is Better Than Wine
Click here to purchase your copy of How to Overcome Heartbreak : Recovering from Misguided Love
I am currently looking for writers/guest bloggers to contribute to Abundantly You. You do not have to be a blogger or professional writer to contribute. We’ve all had battles to overcome. We are all fighting some kind of battle now. Share your story of God’s love and grace in your life.
Your guest post is not restricted to the subject of singleness. Anything that will empower, make us think, or make us laugh are welcome. Email your submissions to Candra Evans at [email protected]. God bless you!
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