Judy Ann Santos-Agoncillo on raising a family built on trust
This 2019, Absolute Distilled Drinking Water explores a territory of love uncommon to most mothers. A discovery of Pure Love and where it sits between the safe comforts of a mother’s love and the uncertainties of letting go.
A discussion with Judy Ann Santos-Agoncillo, an Absolute Mom for seven years, as she shares her own story on Pure Love; a discovery she slowly uncovered while raising her own family, and raising herself too, as now a mom to three children: Yohan, Lucho, and Luna.
Absolute: What would be the main difference of your experience as a new mom (back when you only had Yohan) to now that you have Lucho and Luna?
Judy Ann: It was very different. I had Yohan when I was 26 and at that time parang ang bilis lang ng lahat. Hindi pa nag sink in that I’m already responsible for the life of another human being. Noon, ang alam ko lang nagtatrabaho ako ng mabuti and I thought that was enough. When Lucho and Luna came, my perspective changed because nag-aalaga na ako ng toddler and ng infant at the same time. I learned to be more attentive and give more importance to the love and attention that I give.A: Would you consider yourself a hands-on mom?
JA: I try to be as hands-on as I can to all of my children. But I cannot always be present because of industry I’m in. There was a time when Lucho got into an accident, and I was out of town for work. Grabe yung guilt ko nun. It’s never easy. It took me time para matanggap ko that it doesn’t make me a bad mom pag hindi ko nakikita yung milestones nila, or pag wala ako if something bad happens. I am just blessed that I am surrounded by people who love my children. And I teach my kids also na may mga ibang tao din na nagmamahal and aalagaan sila. So they also learn to trust and respect them.
A: What would be your biggest discovery about a mother’s love?
JA: You have to learn how to Trust. Trust is one of the foundations of any healthy relationship. Parang sa amin din na mag-asawa, Ryan taught me the values of honesty, trust, and respect. And this is what I teach our children too. I learned, especially now that I have Yohan, Lucho, and Luna that you have to trust them, so they also begin to trust themselves. You have to make them feel na may confidence ka sa ginagawa nila, and in return, magkakaron din sila ng tiwala at confidence sa mga ginagawa nila.
A: Do you think this is what Pure Love means? Trusting your children to make their own choices?
JA: I give my children space so they can have their own experiences. Isa to sa mga discoveries ko sa sarili ko as my experiences also grow as a mom. I make it a point that I make my kids feel that I trust them. So they also trust me back in return and hindi sila takot magsabi sa amin ng experiences nila, kahit good pa yan or bad. I remind them na wag matakot because kahit ano pang pagdaanan mo sa buhay, lagi kang may matututunan.A: What if they make decisions that you don’t agree with?
Now that I am a mom of three, the way I understand Pure Love has evolved. Ngayon, Pure Love means I allow them to make their own decisions and may tiwala ako sa mga desisyon nila. I give them the freedom to choose their sports or hobbies, or if gusto nila tanggapin yung endorsement deal or hindi.
JA: I listen. Pinapakinggan ko sila and I try to understand that best way that I can. Pero siyempre I also make them understand my point of view and sa paraan na maiintindihan din nila - kung tama ba to or hindi? Before I used to overanalyze their decisions, pero I learned na they’re kids, and kids say what they feel. So it’s a learning discovery din for me.A: How would you encourage other moms to show their Pure Love?
JA: Probably isa ito sa mga pinakamahirap gawin bilang nanay, kasi takot tayo mag let go. But always remember that they will only learn how to trust themselves, when we make them feel that we trust them first. To moms, hindi natin malalaman how much they will grow if hindi natin sila bibigyan ng chance. We let go little by little, so we allow them to grow and be their own person. That’s what I’ve learned about Pure Love today. It’s trusting them so they can be their own person.
Motherhood is indeed a journey of trust for Judy Ann. It is learning to co-create this life filled with decision-making together with her children, and that her greatest discovery yet as a mom is realizing there is Pure Love that continuously grows inside her.
Absolute celebrates #PureLoveTrusts
For the first time in seven years with Absolute, Judy Ann Santos-Agoncillo stars in her first-ever TVC with children Yohan, Lucho, and Luna in celebration of the brand’s newest campaign #PureLoveTrusts. This gives light to one of the biggest fears and milestones of a mother – trusting and letting go.Absolute aims to inspire mothers to find within them the heart to trust their child’s own decisions. To understand that trusting is a continuous learning process – from supporting their decisions, being present as they face the consequences and helping them make sense out of it. It also means hoping that whatever choices they make, these will all lead them to the person they’ve always hoped of becoming.
