Yet the pride is sincere. I spent so much of my early twenties searching for a sense of belonging to a place after having lost that in a person. I struggled to define myself while blending in, to simultaneously indulge my intellectual as well as my immature cravings.
And in doing so, I learned how to comfortable be in unfamiliar settings. What made Paris special has little to do with the fact that Paris is Paris but that I chose it and made it home (as opposed to accepting more convenient opportunities). I suppose Amsterdam holds a similar significance for my brother—who's now taking a Spanish course and will likely repatriate before he'd like to.
Los Angeles and I, on the other hand, have a slightly different relationship. I came back to the U.S. because I could; and had the sense that I should—how irresponsible it'd be not to accept a serendipitous job offer! I chose my career, but I did not choose this city.
Has it grown on me? Most definitely yes. Though I don't intend to stay. I'll admit (as I roll my eyes at myself) that this fact plays a big part in my insistence of returning to Europe at least once a year. I need the reminder of that aforementioned feeling; to hold onto it.
My days in Amsterdam last fall were spent as a "a lady of leisure". I walked miles through its narrow streets and ruffled through more shops than I had in all 10 months prior and stopped into museums I deemed as having the most intriguing exhibitions. It was so wildly unlike my everyday reality. And each evening I met up with a favorite local at traditional beer bar or modern food hall. It was lovely!
The fall before then, I'd chosen to make as many active life choices as possible—I moved across L.A. to a "real neighborhood"; I took the time to cultivate and enjoy the friendships I'd found; I stringently applied for new real jobs, a.k.a. those that excited me. Although I was barely getting by financially, I became happier and more sure of myself, and eventually, I joined a company that fit the bill.
It was hard to wrap my head around how fortunate I'd gotten. And yet it shouldn't have been. I worked hard to earn my life here. I know I have all I need to make the next step when ready. I have not once had to worry I wouldn't be able to move elsewhere 
