What is your passion?
Recently a man twice my age asked me on a date (I said no because gray is not my type, although a Clippers game did sound fun). He prefaced the proposal with this question, “What is your passion?”
As quite possibly the girliest-girl in the world, I naturally responded with, “love.” Of course this includes the love of a lover, but also the love of friends, family, work, the moment, nature, and self. If you were to ask me what I fell in love with most in 2012, it would be how much my patience has grown.
Granted, I still get frustrated and act out (especially when hungry) yet December 25, 2012 yields a person of an entirely different level of patience.
I have work goals, learning Spanish goals, traveling goals, yoga goals, entrepreneurship goals, and body image goals. These are activities I enjoy. However, without a deeper connection, these are just replaceable hobbies to pass the time. I look to give and receive love in all my activities because this is how I feel most fulfilled.
Ironically this combination of seeking loving and having increased patience means I tend to stay in self-sacrificing situations longer than most would… possibly longer than is emotionally healthy at times, as well. I tend to give more than I receive. I tend to expect more than others are willing to give. I tend to give second chances on top of the previous five chances.
Why? Well if I could be a different way, I probably would. It seems easier to be impartial to things and to have a passion more simplistic, like cooking or horseback riding. These things give exactly what you put in. We all know love is a gamble, but none of us seem to know the odds!
I was born a romantic. I study my emotions. I find pleasure in digging deep down to the bottom corner of my heart in as many things as I can. This is where I house my ability to genuinely listen to you when you have a problem, ideas on how I can surprise you with something sweet, determination not to judge you until I know you, and warm energy every time I hug you.
Those who do not do the same often do not make sense to me. Why would you limit your sensations?
I am perplexed until I realize that the consequences can be painful! It is terrible when love is given and not returned or when love is misunderstood and discarded. Every time is a little chip on my heart.
Luckily, the heart need not always be in control. My mind tells me to keep going just as I am. To manifest faith in a sparkly tomorrow in order to keep the chips off my shoulder. To be grateful for Christmas Day with my family and for a promising 2013.
Maybe Santa will not unveil our soulmates today. Or maybe he will. And that is the beauty of an unknown future with endless possibilities.
Warm wishes and Happy Holidays,
Cleo
