A Cast Iron Skillet Will Sort out Most of the Dark Things...

For children, monsters are real.  As a parent this means you need to believe in them too.  To ignore the monsters is to tell your children you have no faith in their fears and if you have no faith in their fears, then how can you help combat them?
I'm sure I've said about this before, but it's something I really strongly believe in.  The most important thing for a child to know is that the reason there are no monsters under the bed is not that they don’t exist, but that they are too scared to show up because you’ll kick their monster arses.  By saying this, if ever (God forbid) the real-life human monsters crop up, you will have given them something more precious than a lack of fear.  You will have given them fight and hope.  And the faith that their parents would fight off anything for their children - because let's face it, you would right?The monsters all come out at night...
The monsters all come out at night,When you’re in bed and tucked up all tight,The monsters all come out at night,Looking grim in the glow of moonlight.
They’ll swish and they’ll swoosh and they’ll plunder,And call out with voices like thunder,They’ll swish and they’ll swoosh and they’ll plunder,As sweet dreams are torn far asunder.
They’ll creep up the stairs slow and quiet,You’ll try oh so hard to deny it,They’ll creep up the stairs slow and quiet,Imagination screams and runs riot.
Clutching duvet up high you will hide,Avoiding the oncoming tide,Clutching duvet up high you will hide,Hearing tentacled feet as they glide.
At last when the fear is too muchYou’ll call for your Mum’s softened touch,At last when the fear is too muchTo her arm, a safe spot, you will clutch.
And the monsters recede with such hasteMum’s presence will render them chaste,And the monsters recede with such hasteThey’ll be downcast, depressed and shamefaced.
When Mum’s here, you’re big and you’re braveTucked under her arm in your cave,When Mum’s here, you’re big and you’re braveSeeing off ghouls with a nod and a wave.