Books Magazine

9 Donald Trump Tweets About Famous Authors

By Robert Bruce @robertbruce76

I’m not sure how much President Trump reads. But I do know one thing is certain—the man loves to tweet. And he loves to tweet, as Jimmy Kimmel put it at the Oscars, while having his “morning bowel movement at 5 a.m.”

The original idea here was to imagine Trump tweeting about famous novels. But as I was writing this, I realized BuzzFeed did a similar post last year because of course they did.

In that post, they made a good point. Trump’s tweets follow a similar formula: two declarative statements followed by a short, derisive blast at the end.

So instead of copying them exactly, I’d thought I’d spin it a little. Here’s how Donald Trump would tweet about some famous authors:

  1. Scott Fitzgerald is failed author with very small books! Gatsby less than 300 pages. Sad!
  2. Harper Lee wrote a book with a character named Dill. That’s a pickle not a person. Loser!
  3. Lolita is a great book! Russian author named Vladimir writes about young girls. Double win!
  4. George Orwell has a loser mustache! But he has a great take on how to run government. Love it!
  5. Orwell thinks animals can talk. Dummy. But the big pig makes sense.
  6. Incompetent writer William Harding tells story of dopey kids trapped on an island. Just like loser John McCain as a POW. So dumb!
  7. Ulysses is overrated book! James Joyce’s last name is a girl’s name. Sissy!
  8. Failing website Amazon says my book Great Again is ranked 1,963 in books. FAKE NEWS! It’s NUMBER ONE.
  9. Margaret Mitchell writes like a woman. Rhett should’ve grabbed Scarlett by the you know what! Man up!

It’s all in fun, people.

Let’s just be thankful that Trump isn’t a big reader, or at least he doesn’t care to tweet about novels. Taking on the classics would be a terrible move. Sad!

Image: Michael Vadon/Wikimedia Commons

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