#034 – Positivity is a Learned Skill

When I was lying in bed and waiting on my youngest son to fall asleep one night, he asked me to tell him a story about being a good person. So here is a paraphrase of what I told him:

“Did you know we each have a light that God gave us when our hearts started beating?

Some people’s lights are very strong while others are very weak and just barely burning. But no matter what, we each have a light as long as our hearts beat.

Well, we have a choice of how brightly our light burns each day. The brightness of our light isn’t determined by how rich we are or how good-looking we are. The brightness of our light is not about how nice our things are or how famous or popular we are. Our lights get bright any time we think positively and treat others well, and are grateful for our lives. Anytime you are thankful and kind, your light gets brighter. Anytime things are bad and you look for the good, your light is made more powerful.

This is why people are drawn to someone who is positive, because a bright light draws things to it. Your light is your aura, and a positive aura attracts more positivity and good things.

And the angels probably find us that way– by the brightness of our aura. It is like a beacon of light that shines brightly in the middle of darkness. The angels might find us better that way, if the more darkness that surrounds us, the brighter we shine. That is why it is important to remain positive in hopeless situations.”

He asked me: ”Mom, is my light a bright one?”

And because his aura is quite a bright one and he has been blessed with such a positive attitude, I answered him truthfully:

“Your aura is awesome! That is one reason I don’t have to worry too much about you — because the angels can always find you to help you because you’re happy and grateful, and kind to others. It’s your biggest job in life to make sure it stays as bright as it is now, to remain as hopeful and glad to be alive as you are now even as your problems seem to get bigger. Your light needs to stay brighter than any problem you might face.

When you feel your light getting dim, ask yourself why and find out how to fix it. And pray for the right attitude to make it bright again.”

Thinking positively is a learned skill, one that is honed over time and with considerable effort. It is an attitude, a wonderful way of thinking, and a creative process to find what is good in a seemingly all-negative situation. Positivity can become a lifestyle choice, even fun as a daily puzzle to find the good in anything. Positivity is a two-way filter that one actively chooses to put over her thinking, the influences surrounding her, her reactions, and her outlook for the future.

I was raised in a positive environment, but with the trials of adult life, I have often had to readjust my attitude with grown-up disappointments and failures, and feel I have finally begun to master breathing in only the positive and exhaling in words the beauty of good things that surround me. It is a refusal to adopt a defeatist attitude, to know that you are always in control of how you react and in control of what you take in. Like everyone, I fail at times, but I stay pretty much on course these days.

My faith, of course, is my basis; for others, their positivity may be based on something else. Also, meditation and becoming cognitive of what is negative (which can often be masked behind biting wit, sarcastic humor and the failings of humanity) have been precious to my personal development. Not everything should be drunk in or savored, and must be quickly tossed out in a humble and silent way. And it is up to each of us to discern what is healthy and what should be avoided, and to do so in a kind manner and with respect to those around us. I don’t have it quite down yet, but I’m much closer than I was a couple of years ago.

To process things positively and to react in the same fashion is to be conscious that you were put here to serve as a light in this world and to gather that light and make others’ lights brighter (rather than unwittingly serving as a dimmer switch). To realize this is to find two keys to happiness. There truly is power in positive thinking, and to make it a habit is an assurance of fulfillment. Doing so creates a personal aura that draws others in, creates added positivity, and sends it back out to others.

Like the Good Book says, you really are salt of the Earth and a light in this world on a mountain for others to see…but only if you choose to be. So let your positivity chase darkness away, and let God’s grace more easily find you shining. It is as easy as meditating on the beauty and goodness around you, and as praying by simply asking for nothing, only concentrating on your blessings.

Here are a few more reminders I use to remain positive: