#Winning: No, We Are Not F*king There Yet!

I loved reading the entries for the No, we are not f*king there yet giveaway. So many alleged truths came flooding back to me, as I read the supposedly well-meaning advice everyone was given about parenting. Lies, I tell you! What a bunch of lies!  I'm so glad #1Nana was wise enough to buy me Kaz Cooke books instead of the usual informative and airy-fairy baby books, when I was first expecting. Here are the winning entries:

Sometimes, I feel like I'm still in labor. I swear.
I always wondered why they'd still be driving slowly around the streets if they'd run out of ice cream. Teasing bastards.