Humor Magazine

Vampire Glad His Favorite Italian Restaurant is Now Garlic Free

By Citizenthymes @citizenthymes

ASHEVILLE- Food allergies can be frustrating, especially when the allergy is specific to a key ingredient in your favorite food.

But Count Edward Buble a vampire and resident of Bat Cave, NC can now rest easy that his favorite Italian restaurant is now garlic free.

Asheville restaurant Vinnie’s Italian rolled out a garlic free menu this week for their number one vampire fan, Count Buble.

“I can’t tell you how excited I am now to eat at my favorite restaurant without having to worry about my allergy,” said Count Buble.

“Before I didn’t have a lot of options available to me that I could eat at Vinnie’s without getting sick. Don’t get me wrong I still ate at Vinnie’s because man nothing can stop me from eating that twice baked lasagna, but it’s just good to know now I can enjoy it without feeling like there is a big stake being driven in my heart.”

Vampire glad his favorite Italian restaurant is now garlic free

Count Buble’s favorite dish

Count Buble is excited to not only be able to enjoy twice baked lasagna without pain for the first time, but also be able to court potential suitors at Vinnie’s. Before Count Buble was too embarrassed to reveal his condition in front of others.

“I would take a Rolaid with every bite of lasagna to battle the heart burn,” said Count Buble.

“My doctor said that is not very healthy and I said come on doc, what’s it going to do? Kill me? Look at me? But to say the least I couldn’t take that many pills on a date without the girl asking questions. Vinnie’s is perfect for the romance or what I like to call the marinating period, if you know what I’m saying.”

Count Buble enjoyed twice baked lasagna last night at Vinnie’s and finished with Type A Lisa for dessert.

“The dessert was pretty good, she was aged a good 34 years,” said Buble.

“You know what they say blood ages like wine.”

Count Buble hopes other Asheville restaurants follow Vinnie’s lead and offer garlic free options.  Be sure to ask your server the next time at Vinnie’s for your favorite blood sucker Count Buble’s menu, the sucker menu.


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