Health Magazine

Sponsorship: How Did I Pick a Sponsor?

By Sobrfit3
"Happy Thursday!"
When I was first sober I was scared.  When I was first sober I did not know what to do or say.  When I was first sober I sat in the back of the meetings and basically said nothing.  When I was first sober I started to take notes in my little notebook.  When I was first sober I needed a sponsor.  When I was first sober I was told to get a sponsor, any sponsor to help me stay sober and learn the program.  I thought to myself..."Who?"  I was told that without a sponsor I would eventually get drunk.  I thought to myself..."Why?"  I was told that a sponsor should be someone you can relate too and feel safe with.  I thought to myself..."How?"  I was told by some to just pick anyone for the time being just as long as I have someone to turn too.  I thought to myself..."Easier said than done!"  I needed a sponsor but who, why and how was what I needed to figure out.  Some thought I was crazy for not having a sponsor after 6 months of sobriety.  I thought differently!  Some thought it was natural to take my time.  I thought that was a safe way to go.  Some thought my sobriety was never going to last.  I thought differently!  Some thought I was not working the program because I did not have a sponsor.  I thought differently!  So, how did I eventually pick my sponsor?  First, when I came to meetings...and I mean I went to a meeting almost every night and sometimes twice in a day if it was on the weekend.  I would take notes as I had mentioned before.  I took notes about the program.  I took notes about the steps.  I wrote people's names down that interest me or helped me find a solution to my problem or situation I was experiencing at that moment.  I wrote down names of people that inspired me, shared the same drinking log and worked a great program.  I wrote stars next to their names every time I felt that I wanted to have what they had in their sobriety.  Secondly, I wrote down my own goals as well as to what type of life, sobriety and well being I wanted to have for myself when or during my journey in recovery.  I wrote down a list of things I wanted in my life.  I wrote down a list of things I did not want in my life.  Lastly, I learned a lot about myself just by listing things and really working on me and my sobriety.  The day came and I picked my sponsor.  My sponsor was inspiring to me.  My sponsor was kind, sincere, gentle, compassionate, trustworthy, honest, accountable, responsible and mostly straight to the point type attitude with no time for silliness or head games.  She had everything I lacked in my life but I knew I wanted to gain that back and accomplish all those wonderful character traits I once had as a child.  I knew she was the one, because she made me feel motivated to stay sober and alive.  My sponsor was never controlling, bullied or took advantage of my naive matter that all of us so often had when coming to a 12 Step program for the first time.  I made sure I chose a sponsor within my first year of sobriety.  I made sure when I chose my sponsor she was not my friend but only a friend of the program.  I made sure when I chose my sponsor she was a woman.  For example; woman with women and men with men.  I made sure when I chose my sponsor I was true to myself and what I really wanted out of my sobriety.  I wanted my sobriety to give me more than my sobriety.  I wanted a life.  I wanted to look in the mirror and see myself as someone I love, respect and mostly tolerate.  Today, I sponsor with the intent to be there when I can, accept the individual for where they are in their lives, understand one another limitations and boundaries and mostly the chance to share my experience, strength and hope.  I do not sponsor with expectations, control or the chance to preach and stroke my ego.  Today, do you have a sponsor?  If not, maybe you can try some of my suggestions in order to find one.  Today, I will exercise knowing I have a sponsor for the right reasons and not just to have one.  I have a sponsor!

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Recovery: How I Learned How to Help and Not Fix!

    Written By: Cathy Shuba "Happy Thursday!" When I drank I knew how to help myself. When I drank I knew how to help myself out of bad situations. Read more

    By  Sobrfit3
  • How Do I Look?


    That’s me in the picture.  It was taken maybe a week ago, when Julie and I went to Half Moon Bay.  You notice that big smile on my face?  That’s because I’m... Read more

    By  Gjosefsberg
  • Sleep - How Do I Get More?

    Sleep More?

    Image courtesy of The Sleep Council New research from the Mental Health Foundation has revealed the huge impact poor sleep can have on our health and happiness. Read more

    By  Juliepen
  • How Do I Tell My Kids?

    Tell Kids?

    Many times during my years as a navigator, I was faced with trying to answer the question of how to tell a child or grandchild about cancer. Newly diagnosed... Read more

    By  Jean Campbell
  • How Much Fruit and Veg Should I Be Eating?

    At least five and preferably eight is the result of two new research studies from Oxford University. In the first study 300,000 people from countries across... Read more

    By  Menopausesupport
  • Herniated Disc Tips And How I Healed My Back

    Herniated Disc Tips Healed Back

    About a year and a half ago I severely injured my back. It was the most intense physical pain I ever had to deal with in my life. The weird thing about it was... Read more

    By  Tatiannalovingfit
  • I Control How I Feel.

    Control Feel.

    Each of us has this really, really cool thing built into our being… it is the ability to control our own happiness.  Think of something sad.  Go ahead, like... Read more

    By  Zen_sheila