Diaries Magazine

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...sort of

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...sort of  Deck the mini bar with a bit of tinsel stolen from, the lobby treeee
That dismal Christmas carol word play fail is my festive gift to you. You're welcome.
Said tinsel, plus a $2 shop miniature plastic tree that cost me 50 cents is the limit of our festive decorations.
The Feral Threesome have put out their Santa sack.  They are super excited about having other kids around on Christmas Day, other families at the hotel who they’ve made friends with.
I’m devastated we forgot to bring our usual Christmas CD.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...sort of


Deck the shed with bits of wattle, fa-lalala, lala, lala’
Jingle Bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut.’
‘Dashing through the bush, in a rusty Holden ute
Pure Aussie magic, right there.
The kids are beside themselves with excitement.  Just like any other Christmas at home...but with a few lame suggestions from yours truly that Santa may buy more compact gifts this year, so as not to overload the baggage allowance sleigh. 
For our part, the adults in the family have agreed to Secret Santa – just one gift to buy, just one gift to take home.
#1Pop forgot who his Secret Santa recipient was immediately after names were drawn.  No doubt one of us can look forward to a Bintang stubby holder.
We all hope #1Hubby didn’t get us, after his last Secret Santa effort was what can only be described as a wine coffin.  A coffin shaped box designed to hold a bottle of wine.
We were all disgusted by it, but also slightly confused.  When has he ever seen us drink wine fancy enough to be transported in a plush wooden coffin?  When has he ever seen a bottle of wine last long enough to require its own accommodation?
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...sort of
#1Nana has staked out the hotel restaurant, spending breakfast sitting at a different table each day to determine which one gets the best airflow from the ceiling fans.  I’m considering tipping the restaurant staff to sit us at her preferred table, and stick her at the other end where the fan doesn’t quite reach.
#1Brother is thrilled he won’t have to do anything tomorrow.  He usually has a massive job at home – drinks runner.  Something he forgets after the second round.  Occasionally he’s called upon to take a plate somewhere, at which point he could whine for Australia about all the effort he has to put in to Christmas lunch.
So we’re expecting nothing but peace and joy from him this year, as he doesn’t have to get a single drink or carry a plate anywhere.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...sort of
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the resort There were a number of blokes in lurid festive shorts
The Feral Threesome had set out Bintang and bananas for Santa While #1Hubby and I enjoyed a few cocktails and witty banter
Acquainting himself with the bar was #1Brother While the #1Grandparents festively irritated each other


Seriously, I can’t keep this shit up.
I'm just not equipped with the rhyming skillz.
Also, that last one sounded slightly wrong, right?
Wishing you all a fab Christmas Day tomorrow, wherever you’re spending it.
May it be full of merriment and festiveness and tinsel in inappropriate places.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...sort of

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