I'm Mad as Hell

Warning:  Totally random post not remotely in my usual sarcastic stylings today.

My apologies if it’s a bit negative.  But it’s been on my mind since Friday, and I’m furious.  The only thing I can think of to help calm my anger so that I don’t go all postal about it, is to get on my soapbox, get ranty, and spew it all forth on here.

So….

It’s that moment that makes every parent feel sick to their stomach.

Your child comes to you, hours after getting home from school, bursts into tears completely out of the blue and says

“Mummy I was not happy today at school”

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

You see, my Miss7 is all kinds of awesome.  How some other kids don’t see it is beyond me.

Perhaps it’s her minor delays and developmental issues (Global Developmental Delay and Auditory Processing Disorder) that mean she can have trouble interacting and communicating with her peers at times.
Not a massive deal, and not to a large degree, but occasional and mild and slightly troublesome when dealing with 7 year olds who just don’t have the same patience, tolerance and understanding that adults have.

It took all my strength to not bawl for Australia, alongside my precious girl, as she explained to me why she was so distraught.

She simply doesn’t understand why another girl (same age, same year, different classroom), someone she’s never had issue with, never really had anything to do with at all, would choose to pick on her.

“Mum why was she mean to me?"

“But Mum why did she pick on me?"

“Why did she kick the toilet door, scaring me, kicking while I was trying to go to the toilet?"
"I only go to the toilet during class time now Mummy, because she won’t be there”.

Heart.  Breaking.

Wanting so hard to fight her battles that she’s just not equipped to fight herself yet.

A little bit wanting to bitch slap this bully up-side the head, because I know for a fact that she’s sent other little girls her age into floods of tears on account of her menacing behaviour, all within 2 weeks of school starting.

How does a 7 year old girl even fathom what intimidation is?

What is their life like, that they have such nastiness built up?

Where does all that anger come from when the most they should be concerned about in their little worlds is recess, learning sight words, mastering addition and subtraction, and maybe a spot of Barbie or Disney princesses and sports?

Seriously, I want to know?

I’m trying to feel empathy for this other girl.  I have no clue what her own world is really like.

I’m consumed by angst on behalf of my Miss7.

She’s a tall girl, very tall for her age.

You’d easily assume she could stand up for herself.

But she’s the most meek, unsuspecting, naïve and easily hurt kid that I know.

And I won’t stand for it.

She deserves to be a sweet little girl who occasionally gives her mother a smart mouth from time to time.

Not a distraught, sobbing mess who doesn’t understand why another girl would make her feel so bad.
It's taking every ounce of my strength and better judgment to not scream and shout and make a helluva lot of noise about it.
I'm trying hard not to play into her fear.  I'm fighting the urge to 'tap in' and handle it for her.
I'm telling myself to trust that the school has got this, and knows how to best deal with it. 

I don’t want her to be anything like the bullies, like this other 7 year old girl who got up in her face and said to her “you shut your mouth, you understand?”

I don’t want her to learn that fear and intimidation are powerful and effective.

I don’t want her to just shut her mouth.