YOU are the creator of Your own Destiny! By Sherry Patterson of Relationship Reinvented
For the Majority of you reading this, you have watched enough of our videos to know most of our lives and the bullshit we but one another through to get into union. This isn't about that lol You have heard enough about that (for now). This Blog is about me, and most likely you as well.
Recently I read a quote that said "You are the creator of your own Destiny" Well shit that made sense to me, Now,as I went most of my life confused and depressed and living day to day. Most of my life lived as a victim to something, and most all things like, sexual abuse and physical abuse and abandonment issues. I lived a destructive life and if you can name it I have probably done it and lied and manipulated my way out of it. All the while really destroying myself and I had enough ego to bring children into my world of ego and lies and manipulation. I can say this I love my children beyond anything I can even state, however I taught them (at least the oldest ones) how to be a victim. I taught them to lie and I taught them how to withdraw love. I spent most of my life depending on others for financial support, not working not teaching my kids a sense of responsibility, most of all degrading myself and often times taking steps to do everything I could to support my family or help support them in ways that were ethically degrading and illegal. Often times especially when the internet came out, really exploiting my victim mentality, Preying on older gentlemen playing the 'Single mom blues" when in all reality my husband was at work, or after my divorce, I had boyfriends who stepped up and helped me along with the child support my ex husband was paying. Sounds sad doesn't it? oh it was, i was living good but still the victim, It was my crutch.
I never felt good about myself, I went to school for something I loved, my passion is animals, I have a heart for them, but I seemed to have more passion for getting even with he world,and taking the easy way out, having fun and always making sure the world revolved around me somehow. The questions that made me feel nervous or I hated the most was "where do you work?" "What do you do"? I usually had some story to 'Impress". My family at this point had lost all trust in me, as everything I usually spoke about was fabricated. I got myself into some trouble living the lifestyle I was living. As most of you already know I had to take a little "vacation from life". I had time time sit and reflect on my life and "find myself" because I had put myself into a position where I had no choice, I found the desire to do something with myself. I went to college I took it seriously, I worked hard, I maintained a 3.98 GPA, I got motivated and got an associates degree in Business. I was ready to face the world.
I was walking along a street in Cincinnati on Valentines day 2005, when I saw a place, I walked in, It was a women only type of low impact fitness facility. I asked for a job, the lady immediately hired me and within a week told me about some troubles she was in with he business and asked me to overhaul it, she trusted me and I took that seriously. I began by working literally sometimes 24 hours a day, I cleaned out the office,sometimes slept there, went though the files, I cleaned and made computer programs and made the place essentially mine. I got personal with the ladies, I built that business up to something extraordinary, I rarely seen the owner, she had another facility and I had built this one up so good she trusted me. I did all the hiring and unfortunately had to let some go, I Was building skills, I was literally running a business using the skills I had learned in college. I was so proud of me, I worked a lot, I loved it, I was single and just dating I has started in a small apartment and about a year later bought myself a little 2 bedroom house, I owned it, it was mine and I was gaining confidence. I met Lee that year and If you have watched our videos you can add this story as you know what happened with him, my personal life was good, annoying but good, then the separation came and I met Ron and it was safe for me, the lady asked me if I was interested in buying the facility, I did, It was mine for about 9 months, and the economy collapsed. The business was going downhill quick, I had lost Lee and even my house was in jeopardy. I moved in with Ron and did a short sale on my house and there it is, Instead of letting the business fall out from under me, I had did what the owner did before, I asked the manager I had hired if she was interested in buying it, she did and I got out without any profit. So I found myself again, unemployed depending on someone else for financial support. most of you know the rest, marriage, Lee comes back, Baby, divorce, and the Hamster Wheel with Lee. Here is the funny thing even after some success my family still did not support me or even give me any words of encouragement, They were waiting on me to f**k life up again, some still are. They were and mostly all still are stuck in MY victim mentality, I had so long let go of. I realized a long time ago that attempting to try to make my family understand forgiveness and unconditional love, and belief in one another is a moot point and trying to get outside validation from them is not necessary for my growth. I stay working on my own healing and unconditional love in myself that keeps me pretty busy lol
I did attempt small jobs, with small kids again it was hard and with a "record" even harder, I always had in the back of my soul that I had a passion for helping people but it was kind of rude and truthful and in your face. I thought maybe a drug or alcohol counselor. I could never get focused on a career with the hamster wheel I was on trying to have a relationship with Lee, That ended up being the issue, trying to have a relationship. Then Lee and I found the Twin Flame dynamic, we realized this connection we shared was different. Lees work hours were insane he would come home exhausted, Retail was killing him, during our pillow talk we discussed what our dream jobs would be, what we would love to do.
Im sure most every dream job conversation involves being your own boss, making your own hours, Doing something you love everyday. Our dreams showed us the exact same things, we had the same damn dreams, oh thats going really make my family think I am bat shit crazier than they already do. We were in the same places in our separate dreams, waking up every morning and comparing not even believing what we were saying to one another. it was exciting, we layed in bed and named the Business, But Lee was still knee deep in retail and hell we needed to live so him quitting was not an option, It was just a dream, Pillow talk, but something in me was coming alive, my gift I could feel it awakening.
I felt that motivation, That drive always, I felt that burning sensation in my soul, I felt that desire to help people. My soul had been awakened, Lee's too when we talked about it he=is eyes lit up, something in him was stirring but responsibility and Life over rode the desire at this time. It was a dream. What I knew was I needed it, I needed this, These dreams were given to us. I was finding some kind of Trust in the Universe for these dreams.What we didn't know was it was going to be our Pain, our victim mentality, our destructive lives, Manipulative behaviors and lying and deceit and all those trips on the hamster wheel that would be the catalyst for it. While my personality is raw and truthful and in your face, Lee's is gentle and loving and kind, he speaks in codes that I can translate. What a team we could have, how do we get this? How do we manifest this dream?
Well that is why there is a part twi to this blog !! lol Stay Tuned
Sherry
