I remember times before my divorce, when I was working with individuals struggling to get through the experience and try to figure out how to get their lives stabilized once again. I knew the individuals were suffering; I didn’t understand the depth of the angst they were experiencing. I suspect that, like many things in life, only those who have been through it truly understand.The emotions are so far ranging, and fluctuate so wildly, divorce and its aftermath are just very intense experiences. Feelings such as sorrow and grief over the loss of the second most important relationship in your life (God being the most important), or feelings of betrayal when the one you loved cheated on you, traded you in on a new model, or just walked away leaving you in despair. There might be fears for the future, or exhilaration at suddenly being free and on your own. There can be a sense of finally being safe, or a feeling that you will never be safe again. Loneliness can create feelings of desperate solitude, or impel you into a whirlwind of relationships and activities. God can seem extremely close, or so far away that He cannot be found. Perhaps the hardest thing about all of these emotional issues is that the journey through is not a straight line, but a path that meanders, forward and backward, up and down with sudden swerves, turns, dips and times of difficult,steep ascents. One day an individual may feel he or she has licked it all and is ready to move on, and then the next day experience such emotional upheaval that it feels like there has been no progress at all.These things vary from person to person. The thing to remember in it all is that God walks with you no matter what. As a good friend of mine said, “you may feel lonely, but remember, you are never alone.” Some days, you may feel like you can’t take another step as hopelessness and fatigue set in, almost paralyzing you from moving forward. But when you can’t walk, God’s arms are underneath to support and carry you on to the future he has planned and designed, tailor made specifically just for you!
