It’s not really new- the term was coined back in 06 or 07. But for some reason it’s very much in the news again- the “Relationship Lite.” It’s a sort of relationship in which two people date, spend a lot of time together- but there’s no commitment. Kind of like friends with benefits, but the benefits are greater.
The fact that it’s gaining in popularity is probably due to the hook-up culture of dating today. People don’t date so much as go out with friends, then pair off at the end of the evening. These initial hook-ups can lead to friends with benefits or just to regret the next morning, depending. Relationship lite sounds like the third phase, where folks intensify their friends with benefits relationship and are more or less exclusive, at least until something better comes along.
It’s like having one’s cake and eating it too- except someone ALWAYS gets hurt, then they call me. In my experience working with singles of all ages and stages of dating and relationships I have found that everything new is old again. I’m hearing from young, successful, attractive men that they can’t meet the women they could be serious about. Instead they meet attractive, intelligent, often professional women who are very casual with sex and can throw back shots with the guys and always pay their way. A guy’s dream, right? Not according to my sources. They want women who really know and like themselves and aren’t just pretending to be something they think men want- which is how it feels to a lot of guys. They are aggressive and worldly and have it together- or do they? To many men it seems they are trying too hard.
If you are a woman looking for something more than fun and sex, it’s not only OK to communicate this- it would probably improve your dating experiences and chances for meeting the kind of man you want. Love yourself and set that bar so he has to reach for it. Let him know you don’t share yourself with every attractive and available man. If he’s interested, he will want to get to know YOU, and put thought and effort into doing so. Obviously I can’t tape my male clients as they tell me how hard it is to meet those special girls so you will have to take my word for it. I will tell you what I tell them- there are many beautiful, bright and accomplished women out there who want what you want and have those qualities you seek. Don’t be so quick to get drunk with them and jump into bed with them and you may meet the woman of your dreams.
