I lied to you last week. Sort of.
I made you depressed, convincing you that summer was officially over. But just because Labor Day had come and gone, it didn’t mean that summer was actually over. To be truthful, we were still on vacation last week as school didn’t start until yesterday. Meaning that we had 7 whole days after Labor Day to get into trouble.
Here are a few things that we did before school started up. I wouldn’t recommend most of them.
Good morning Chelsea! What a beautiful view. I love everything about my street: the tree canopy, the brownstones, and dog poop for miles. I should clarify, I don’t actually like the dog poop, but it’s heavenly for my dog, and he needs to enjoy his mornings too. So much to sniff, especially on a warm day.
Speaking of delicious smells, check out my breakfast that morning. A latte and donut from my favorite breakfast spot in NYC, The Doughnut Plant. That would be a chocolate donut, with a chocolate cookie crumb. It’s the most insane breakfast treat if you’re trying to gain a few pounds, which I assume most of us are.
And there’s no sense in starting off a day with chocolate donuts. That immediately designates the day as a bad eating day, so why not follow it up with a big plate of fries? Just don’t bring your kids as they’ll eat the fries right off your plate. Which defeats the purpose of your bad eating day. Meaning that you’ll have go for another bad eating day the next day just to keep things even.
Thank goodness for the lake, it always seems to keep me on track. Nothing kickstarts a morning like a gigantic coffee filled to the brim with half and half. Crap, bad drinking day is starting.
Might as well continue the bad drinking day and celebrate this win with a massive bottle of champagne. I’m talking Magnum here. The kind you order on New Year’s Eve when you’re traveling in the south of France. Which I assume is yearly for most of us, right?
Having seen way too much heavy drinking this summer, Jack decided to stage an intervention. He dunked me in a bucket of cold water and took me for a walk to his favorite “healing” place. It was nothing more than a little flower patch where he likes to pee, but in his own small way, I think he actually helped.
Lauren, too, was proud of my turnaround. “No booze and junk food for a few days mom? Awesome. I made a special jump for you.” And with that she launched herself into a 3-foot deep pool of water.
Now in addition to thinking his mother is an alcoholic, Jack has now become convinced that his sister has broken both her legs.
Clearly the anxiety was too much for him and he sought refuge in the watery depths of his favorite Yogi bowl.
Fortunately, the summer is now officially over. No more jumping into shallow water. No more junk food and alcohol binges. Time to snap back to reality. September is upon us. School is in session. We’re off to the races…Wish us luck.