Entertainment Magazine

With Apologies to Poets Everywhere

Posted on the 30 November 2013 by Sjhoneywell
The following is an embarrassing set of haiku about my favorite films by each letter of the alphabet. These aren't specifically my favorite films on from The List--I picked a representative for each letter of the alphabet as well as one for the films that start with a number instead of a letter. How many can you identify?

#
Henry Fonda sits.
Lee J. Cobb flails angrily.
Quiet patience wins.

A
Sexy French woman
Makes other people happy.
Now she is happy.

B
A river, a bridge,
And a plot to blow it up.
Poor Alec Guinness!

C
This could be the start
Of a beautiful friendship.
Play it, Sam. Play it.

D
There are 10 short films.
There are 10 Commandments, too.
Coincidence? No.

E
"I am your father."
The greatest movie moment
Of my whole childhood.

F
Nothing makes me bawl
Quite the same way as, "Do you
Want to have a catch?"

G
The most iconic
Movie of the Seventies.
Take the cannoli.

H
Two young men play games.
They hope to keep playing them
But real life is cruel.

I
I will [censored] you
If you don't toe party line
On the [censored] war.

J
Nice day at the beach
Suddenly the day turns dark.
Surf goes blue to red.

K
Hemingway story
Given legs, guns, guts, and dames.
Source good, film better.

L
Want an epic film?
Here is the definition.
Vast desert expanse.

M
Film noir started here.
Bogart plays the game so well,
We all keep guessing.

N
Biplane in cornfield,
Statue holding microfilm,
Cary Grant rules all.

O
Screenwriting credit
Assigned to Homer. O, you
Wacky Coen bros!

P
"As you wish" becomes
The most romantic saying
Of all '80s film.

Q
I missed the death of
Lady Di. Some folks think that
The royals did, too.

R
The single greatest
Archaeological find
Also kills Nazis.

S
It all comes down to
Asking over and over,
"What's in the damn box?!"

T
Arctic winter's cold
Suddenly heats up thanks to
A non-canine dog.

U
Clint Eastwood's career
In cheap spaghetti Westerns
Comes to fruition.

V
Regrette rien--
A story of hard luck and
Beautiful music.

W
Trucks drive mountain roads.
Going too fast or too slow
Means explosive death.

Y
Castle at midnight.
Marty Feldman steals the brain
Of Abby Normal.

Z
Dirty politics
Is a dirty business, like
A rock to the head.


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