Amazon is doing a great job pulling me back into this fight, though. First there was this email (which I received after specifically indicating I was a dad when signing up for Amazon Mom).
I thought it was funny, because it was too dumb to be offensive. Who listens to an audio book during yoga?
Now, if you email Amazon to complain about the Amazon Mom name, you get this too cute response cut & pasted directly from their FAQ page:
Despite the name, you don't need to be a mom to join. Amazon Mom is open to anyone expecting a baby or caring for a baby or young child, whether you're a mom, dad, grandparent, or caretaker. We just thought "Amazon Primary Caretaker" didn’t have the same ring to it.
Ha, ha, ha. Here's another email I got:
Again with the yoga class. Only now I'm all toned up just in time for onesie-folding.
Which is all, well, whatever. I don't care. It was a pretty shitty program anyway, and both kids are potty-trained, so I don't need their 5% discount anymore. And if Amazon's best alternative to "Amazon Mom" is "Amazon Primary Caregiver," then I guess that's where this is going to end. I don't see what other name they can give this program, and neither can they.
Well, actually they do have a better name. They can call it "Amazon Family." And the best thing about it? I don't have to suggest that name to Amazon, since they're very much aware of that name. In fact, in England, where Amazon operates under Amazon.co.uk, the name of the parenting program is not "Amazon Mom," and it's not "Amazon Primary Caretaker."
In a way, it's meaningless. Who cares about the name Amazon uses for its parenting program. On the other hand, what does it say about us? Why did Amazon bother changing the name of its parenting program when the program started in the UK? What made them realize they couldn't get away with calling it "Amazon Mom," and why do they get away with it here? Someone actually started a petition to change the name to Amazon Family in the US, and so far it has less than 100 signatures. Why is that? Why are we OK with letting England be more progressive than we are here when it comes to fatherhood? They have a queen! They are ruled by a freakin' queen! We can do better than that!
Please sign that petition. Please. It's not about a name and it's not about me personally being offended and it's not about stupid emails about yoga classes. It's about a company that looks at the US, then looks at England, and then decides that over there, parent equals mom or dad, while here, well, we're not ready for that yet.
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