Craig's not going to the ball this year...
Poor Craig Chalmers. He has just been sacked from his next job, Playing Prince Charming in patio in Dunfermline.
Craig was doing ever so well. Since appearing on Andrew Lloyd Webber's Any Dream Will Do he had established himself as a talented performer. I took my kids to see him in Joseph a couple of years ago. In my mind he wasn't a patch on Jason Donovan, but that probably says more about me than his performance. Since then he'd hardly been out of work and was just about to start a lucrative slipper-fitting gig. So, what went wrong? Someone - anonymous - had noticed that Craig has a bit of a sideline as Ryan Ryder, star of adult movies and owner of large equipment and, ahem, assured performance. So they told theater bosses who promptly told Craig to sling his hook while the world sniggered at the panto porno star headlines. But I'm a bit baffled about why it should mean that he must hand over his doublet and hose to his understudy.
Apparently, the fact that he sometimes gets his dick out to have sex on film for the adults who like that kind of thing means he isn't a suitable person to pretend to try a shiny shoe on a man dressed as a woman in front of children. Go figure.
Its not like he will get his jobs mixed up one day and really give the children reason to yell "he's behind you". Kids won't be aware in any way that Prince Charming sometimes has a ball of a very different kind. Speaking of balls, this is complete bollocks. Why shouldn't Craig make a few quid as Ryan while he can without being punished for it? This is knee jerk nonsense of the very worst kind. Just because in an entirely different organisation a very unpleasant man's abuses have been overlooked for years, doesn't mean that what another man does for consenting adults is anywhere near the same thing. Where will it stop? If we have anything to do with children, does it mean we can't do something adult from time to time? I have friends who write erotica to make some money, are they to be banned from the school gates?
Utter rubbish. The point of being an adult (there has to be one after all) is that we are mature enough to know what we should be doing and when. Within the law our choices are up to us and we shouldnt' be punished for them. The villain in this piece deserves a big boo for drumming Craig off the stage for something that has nothing to do with his day job. PS While we're on the subject let's consider some of the other panto stars considered suitable to entertain kids. Jim Davidson, Pamela Anderson, The Krankies, Linda Lusardi, Denise Welsh and Julian Clary to name a few.
