Diaries Magazine

Why Does This Money Feel Damp…oh.

By Blairbarnes

This is a short one. Once upon a time at the magical place I work I was taking care of a rather large woman who quite large with even larger assets (ahem). She was perfectly nice and when time came to pay she asked for the check. Upon bringing it over to her table, she asked me to wait because she needed change. While I patiently waited and tried to avert my eyes from her consuming “humps” I looked on in horror as she pulled a fifty from her cleavage and proceeded to hand it to me and said, “May I please get some change.” All I could do was hold out my hand and take it like I saw people pull money from their tits every day. The worst part was not only were two of my colleagues watching me and basically rolling on the floor laughing, THE MONEY WAS WET WITH HER BOOB JUICE!! I went up to our cashier to get change because there was NO WAY I was going to keep that fifty in my bank and the cashier looked at me and asked, “Why is this money wet?” I replied, “Just put it in the drawer, you don’t even wanna know and oh yeah, you should wash your hands.”

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