Is it a dream or nightmare? I’ve been out of high school for many years and I still have that dream. You know the one, where we can’t get our locker open or we can’t remember which class we are supposed to go to and we are extremely late for class as it is. I wake up sweating and anxious and the panic attack begins. Why do we dream this? I guess this dream is much better than the one where demons grab my ankles from under my bed. What the hell does that one mean?
I’ve heard the locker thing and other similar scenarios are called “school anxiety dreams”. Wonder why. (sarcasm). Who wasn’t stressed out in high school? I know I was. So researching this phenomenon, I found all kinds of dumb stuff. Like it’s related to job stress, type A personalities, you’re forgetting something or something hidden in your mind. But the closest meaning I could find was from: BrainDecoder. You can click on that and read their version of things. Frankly it was too much for my pea brain to express here. I also have my own theories.
I think it boils down to the worst anxious times of our lives. Did you enjoy school? I liked a lot of the social aspect of it. Classes sucked. lol I was an average student. I was/am probably ADHD. Therefore my grades weren’t what I wanted them to be. Socially I felt awkard and insecure. There were mean girls too. That was stressful enough. Boys were immature and you only have so many to pick from unless you move on to other schools. I didn’t feel any real peer pressure, but I’m sure it was there. I just remember how stressed I always was. I wanted to be friends with everyone but I didn’t figure out till later in life, not everyone is going to like you.
My big stressor was my locker. Did I have enough time to get there? Did I get the right books and where the hell is my next class? Everyday. I can remember when I was leaving the building my stress would start to subside. Monday comes around and my stress would be back. Did everyone go through this in high school? Or was I just a weirdo?
I’m actually jealous of anyone who had a teacher that inspired them. I didn’t have that experience. I think I had teachers that were just there for a paycheck. A few probably were teachers for Charlie Brown. I never felt inspired. I just wanted to move on. College saved me for sure. But I still go back to the locker thing.
The problem I have with it is that it is a major dream for most people as they get older. To me it’s more than stress in your current job or situation. Maybe it represents a time in your life that you should have had zero worries or stress. But that wasn’t the case. Maybe there are things and relationships you left unfinished or should have walked away from. But maturity and your frontal lobe wasn’t fully developed yet. Why would we hold on to those stressors from the past?
‘Eff that locker and that class schedule! Screw the mean girls! The bad boys and the miserable teachers. Focus on now. Forgive your younger self for all the things you didn’t walk away from. Forgive yourself for the opportunities you didn’t realize as a teenager. Rock these midlife years. You got this.
Take that lock off your locker and delve into those memories and remember the friends you had and loved and still keep in touch with. Remember you are not the same person you were in high school. You’ve grown and you’re now a Badass. Forgive those that wronged you and hopefully those you wronged will forgive you.
Peace Love and Margaritas!
