As much as Nicole Kidman would love to convince me that there’s really nothing like sitting in a movie theater and seeing a movie on a big screen, sadly that just isn’t the case anymore. And it has nothing to do with the quality of the films, or the structure of these theatres. The seats are nicer, the concession stands frequently serve real food and alcohol, and by all accounts the theatrical experience has never been better.
Except for blind people.
Recently, I went to a theater. I haven’t been to one in a while because as a former employee of four different chains, i don’t have faith that corporate cinema has bothered to prioritize the equipment and the experience for the blind and visually impaired users. I think they equate the lack of daily arrivals with us being a niche audience, and not that we hate to take the time to pay for a ride, or journey out with someone, just to spend the whole movie trying to get a headset to work. passes are nice, but they are no guarantee the problem will not reoccur. Some theatres and managers I’m sure are exceptions to this rule, and i can’t say I’ve been to every theater and every chain. But i see a lot of what my fellow blind cinephiles post online. Everything from a film being advertised as having audio description when it does not, to equipment not working. The thing is, at home, we have a much higher probability that our physical media we know and own will work in our players, and our streaming services will deliver the audio description at least for the titles they’ve chosen to be so benevolent as to include accessibility with.
My experience started by going to a theater i was very familiar with, but honestly hadn’t been to in years. I want to say Vice was the last film I saw there, and I got tired of having to fight to be in a row where I wouldn’t have to navigate stairs in case of an emergency or bathroom. I’ve never fallen, but I also would not call myself quick on the stairs by any means. This theater was experiencing a massive overhaul that caused me to need to cross the street and then come back around and into the theater. They added stairs bafflingly in a place where there weren’t any before, making me wonder if they raised the entire theater in case of flooding or something. But they were spending all this money on a major retail of what was already a nice and clean theatre, and it already had recliner seats the last time I was there.
When I got inside, the box office was gone. no more customer service desk, which made me nervous about how the hell I would get the damn headset. Regal is adopting the same policy another chain I worked for had started, which was to sell tickets with concessions. So, the girl asked me if I was “ada’, which since I wanted that row, i said yes, which led me to getting a free ticket for my companion. Huzzah! Especially considering the matinee price is more than what the prime time prince was the last time i was here. Gotta pay for that remodel.
She called a manager, who handed me a headset. It was a newer model, so I had high hopes.Got into the theatre, where the movie started late, and my sighted companion noted we were alone. So much for Barbenheimer. I bet that construction is driving people away on the busiest week of the year.Guess what? Headset didn’t work. Made it all the way to the film, through all the previews, and I was optimistic, because I could hear the sound from the previews in the headset, just no audio description. Then, nothing. So, after I tried to fiddle with it a bit to make sure my volume wasn’t all the way down or something, I sent the headset back with my companion. They found the manager, got a new headset, and came back. All the while, my experience is without accessibility. New headset still doesn’t work. This time, I asked my companion to try and get the manager to actually come to the theater to see if it was working so they didn’t have to keep walking back and forth. Finally, the third headset, which the manager swore would work, did. But, by now I was easily fifteen minutes in. And honestly, some people never get a fixed headset. Some people don’t like to get up and leave, and they shouldn’t have to. A manager’s job should be to make sure the equipment works. Don’t hand me broken tech.
Aside from that, the movie was loud as ever loving shit. My ear is still messed up. I think there’s something to having senses that overwork themselves to some extent, because I’ve never been bothered by a film before. But with only 2 people in the theater to absorb that sound, my internal organs were vibrating. I know this is a concept that went away with projectionists when everything went digital, but the same sound and volume is not equal when you have an audience of 300, and an audience of 2. If you leave it always set to “sold out theatre”, it actually does become too much. Sound absorption is real. I’m a big guy, but I can’t absorb that much sound.
I left, handed my headset to the manager, and left. He’ll never know why he doesn’t see me for a while, and why i don’t start going every week. If these theatres cannot make sure their equipment work when the theater was so slow my Oppenheimer was just me and a companion, then what are we really doing? I know there are companies developing apps that would allow us to control our own AD, using an app, and our own headset or earpieces. I think that’s brilliant. But convincing a room full of theater executives who do not need accessibility, do not understand it, have no need to invest in quality over cost-saving, and would rather we not show up so they don’t have to mess with it will be hard. We have to advocate for ourselves, and not back down. I’m sorry that my disability has inconvenienced you, but i didn’t choose this. It chose me. it might choose you. And if you don’t invest in an accessible world now, while you have the means and the power, when it comes time to you needing it, it won’t be there for you, and you’ll turn to me with your sad eyes and ask why? My answer will just be “told you so.”
Accessibility Matters.
