A quick definition from Psychology Today (.com) says: “Mid-Life: Mortality and the idea that time is running out can leave a middle-aged person feeling discontent and restless. Often this 40- to 60-year-old may have a need to reassess life and its meaning.”
Really? A need to reassess life and its meaning? Shouldn’t we have life figured out by this point? Have our A game on? Winning? Then the article goes on to say:
Midlife transition can include:
- Discontentment or boredom with life or with the lifestyle (including people and things) that have provided fulfillment for a long time
- Feeling restless and wanting to do something completely different
- Questioning decisions made years earlier and the meaning of life
- Confusion about who you are or where your life is going
- Daydreaming
- Irritability, unexpected anger
- Persistent sadness
- Acting on alcohol, drug, food, or other compulsions
- Greatly decreased or increased sexual desire
- Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger
- Greatly decreased or increased ambition.
So let’s review this crap. Discontent or bored with life translates to: I am sick and tired of working my ass off to keep this house clean and the laundry done. I’m either going on strike or I’m moving to a new, clean house and leave my family in the old house to fend for themselves.
Feeling restless and wanting to do something else: So you’re tired of the 9-5 and decide you want to change it up and buy a food truck and sell gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Ok, I feel ya.
Question decisions made years earlier: Oh like that time (many years ago) I was drunk and I married that Rolex salesman I met in Cabo? It was annulled so does that even count?
Confusion about who you are and where you are going: Like Caitlyn Jenner? I don’t think I am that confused. And as long as I have the Google Maps app I am pretty sure I know where to go.
Daydreaming: Nothing wrong with daydreaming. Keeps us creative I say.
Irritability, unexpected anger: It’s an election year. I have an excuse for this one.
Sadness: See Above.
Acting on alcohol, drugs, food…:? Sorry I don’t understand this one. It’s like saying clean and sober is the only option? No. Nope. No way. People should thank me for drinking. It keeps THEM safe.
Decreased or Increased Sex: All I can say is Big Daddy stays happy…TMI?
Sexual affairs with someone younger: Seriously? I’m not sleeping with anyone who can’t keep me in the life I have become accustomed to. These young guys just can’t afford me.
Decreased or Increased ambition: I have ambition. After a few margaritas in the afternoons I have even more ambition…to drink another margarita!
*In Conclusion: Midlife is not that bad y’all. I am twice as smart as I used to be. I raised two kids to almost adulthood and they’re not even in therapy yet. Big Daddy and I have been married 20+ years with no divorce in sight. I am no longer a ‘people pleaser’ because I am confident enough not to care if someone doesn’t like me. I have a job I love and great friends who ‘get me’. I do expect to die before my husband so he will have to deal with kids and drama without me. I have requested that he not remarry if that happens so that he and the kids don’t realize their lives could have been more normal and stabilized, and realize how unstable and crazy I really am. (Yes, I know that is a huge run-on sentence.) I also know that I have a lot more do to in life and a lot more sh!# to stir up too. So bring it on Midlife! I’m ready…
*Read more of the Psychology Today article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/mid-life
