No, that wasn’t a typo. The Huffington Post put out a call to women readers, asking for stories from those who want more sex than their partners. Even they were surprised at how many responses they got from women of all ages and backgrounds who are sexually frustrated by partners who have less interest than they do. Another myth busted.
The Huff Post has done several follow up pieces and videos in which they interview women on gender myths, sex drive- and how women don’t fall into the classic stereotype that has been held for so long.
Yes, some women struggle with a loss of sex drive, especially due to the stress of having and raising children, handling two jobs (home and work) and after menopause. However, men also have their sex drive killers- and some have a lower sex drive than average, even when younger.
Some reflections from the women interviewed by the Huffington Post include comments like: “I’m going to have to learn to always be the aggressor;” “He bought me a vibrator so I would be happy and leave him alone;” “ I’m beginning to think I will never find a partner whose sex drive is equal to mine;” “By the time I’m 35, I may never have sex again;” “ I’m not unhappy with my marriage, just frustrated that I don’t get any sex;” “ I feel abnormal for wanting more sex;” “I keep hearing that I’m like a dude when it comes to sex;” among others that really demonstrate that women are not always the ones with a lower sex drive.
So ladies, if this issue resonates with you, you are not alone. Other women have partners who need incentives to get interested in something more than a good meal or new show on TV. Just like women, men have both physical and emotional reasons for a lower sex drive and this is something that a caring partner can help with. If the stress is too high, offer support in areas that could help lower it. If your partner is overweight, has high cholesterol, doesn’t exercise, etc- he could benefit from having a partner who encourages and participates in making healthier lifestyle choices to address health problems. Offer to make him an appointment with a regular Dr- not for treatment of ED, but for wellness. If there are emotional issues, encourage him to get counseling and offer to participate. Don’t push, just offer ideas and unconditional caring.
If all fails, you will need to measure this issue against your overall union. Are you happily married otherwise? Are you better off with or without him? Is this a deal breaker or not? Can you live with some sexual activity but less than your desired amount? These are all good questions to ask yourself and carefully weigh your answers. Not all marriages have the same level of physical contact/intimacy- yet many partners find ways to make it work because they can’t imagine their life without their spouse, and would not want to.
