Culture Magazine

When the Claws Come Out

By Ballerinablogger
For Mei, Missy and Juliette -
Dancing is a very competitive art form. Yes, of course you're always trying to be better than yourself but let's be honest here, we do tend to compare ourselves to others which is how jealousy and cattiness can be aroused. Every girl will have to deal with spiteful gossip and juvenile drama at some point, it's almost impossible to avoid it. The tough part is, how do you deal with this and how do you avoid causing it yourself? Well, the answer isn't always crystal clear but I think the key point to remember for any misunderstanding in life is perspective.

It's natural for humans to judge one another whether we like that or not. People form opinions and sometimes people's opinions of one person can vastly vary. Jealousy can have a great influence on someone's opinion. As much as I don't like to admit it, I have not been particularly fond of a certain person essentially because I was very jealous of them and their dancing. Luckily, I realized that that was the case and was able to let that jealousy go. But on the other side of things, there have been many instances where girls had a problem with me for no particular reason.
The tough part about class drama is you see these people on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes the only way to solve that is by talking directly to that person. Confrontation is never fun but in some situations it is neccesary. If you're in a situation in which you find that you should confront someone, remember to stay calm and it usually helps to not do any accusing. The majority of the time results are better when you simply ask a question. For example: "did I do anything to upset you?" is a good way to start. You're not accusing the person of behaving irrationally towards you but you're voicing the uncomfortable vibe you get when you're around them.
In the event that a person really doesn't have a reason to be upset with you and just seems to have a problem with you then you need to remember that there is nothing you can do about the way you feel. I myself am a bit of a people pleaser. I don't like it when people are uncomfortable around me and I want to be friends with everyone but I've learned the hard way that behaving differently around one specific person or changing your personality to make someone like you more just isn't worth it and always ends badly. If someone has a problem with you for no reason, that's their issue.
Drama is a tough subject because every situation is unique and general advice is hard to give. If you have any drama issues you would like some advice with you can e-mail me here or leave a comment below.
Here's a comment from Missy: Could you maybe give some advice on how to deal with dance students in higher levels than you who seem to hate you for no reason? This happens to me for some reason, there are these two girls a level higher than me in my dance school and they seem to hate me for no other reason then to hate. I've never done anything to them besides complement them when they do well :-( Thanks!
Missy, it sounds as though this is something that you have no power over. If you've never done anything to make them dislike you and yet they do, it sounds like this is just something they have to deal with. But don't worry, if someone has a problem with you for no apparent reason, those aren't the people you want as your friends anyway. I know it's tough to deal with but unless you feel that you should confront them, then hopefully just leaving them be should be enough. If you have any more questions then leave a comment or e-mail me!
Thanks guys! More posts coming! :)
Ballerinablogger ~

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