Video is up now!
Sent: Thursday, December 13, 2007 4:03 PM
Subject: kryptonite blues….
It came out of me today… the pain.. the lostness.. the feelings of where I am now.. how a dream could be shattered at the drop of a hat.. I am lost within myself and then connecting to you I could feel the paths you have before you and it became dark and became very cloudy… my judgement, my ability to know right from wrong my own words evaporated… I am in love with you and my connection to you is very much real and will never leave it is just as it is.. and I can feel you wanting to protect me from this.. you are.. and you always have been.. and knowing I have always been ok with being in the midst of turmoil and of unhappiness..you cannot do that to me… I realized you saw me come from that and saw something deep within…. you were the smile that came from me from a life of not knowing what it was to smile for the reason from within your heart… I can feel you now.. I can feel that emptiness in my stomach and can tell that you are worried about me.. don’t you have too many to in your life to be worried about?? I want you to realize something…maybe not now.. maybe not soon.. but it will happen… we will be together as I will wait for you… I will wait for the love we have it is all I ever dreamed and will dream of… it is so what I am born to do… yes it is a bump in the road but somethings you can’t stop from happening as we found out.. but I am not going to ever let you go inside.. I will always hold this connection to you and protect it with all that I am… I could be on the other side of the earth and hear you call to me.. when you need and want me… you will come to me.. and I will be right there waiting for you.. I will be where I will always be with you in that place where the eyes speak and the words don’t need to be said… it is who we are and it is the greatest love of all in the world… the world is not supposed to know of it’s existence but I feel we will share it with them.. and show them it is truly real…we will show them in all that we do… I still am growing and I am still learning to heal things in me.. things that made no sense.. things that did make sense.. with you and now for the time being without you I will learn to heal it alone… We are in love.. and I guess I felt that was strong enough to withstand anything to include a child that was not mine.. it can, could and it will.. and I will give you space to get through this.. and will wait for as long as I have too.. I found what it is… I found it in you and only you… no one else will get it ever… To have found that is something you can’t ignore or want to ignore.. I want you.. I want you in the worst way… you are the smile that will always be on my face… I can let you go.. but promise me no matter what if we get our chance and you decide to come back.. you better come with all that you are… and let’s just go… no looking back only forward… if and when you do… I will be ready no matter what I am doing… It will be a mute point… do you understand that??? do you get it??? yes we can feel each other.. and can feel each others everything.. and I don’t want to stop talking to you… email… i.m. or texting.. I want to be connected to you someway… yes on top of all that love you are the best friend I never had…not to leave where we have to search the earth to find each other… I would not be able to do that and be ok…. I would be too ill… I know you feel the same I can feel it.. I am going to bond even stronger with Christian and even more important I am going to continue to learn to be happy with me… learn more about the slow learner I am and why… I have to be ready for you when you come back to me.. even if you don’t see it happening.. please don’t ever tell me that.. cause it is a bold face lie… LOL cause even I can have visions of what is… and you are that vision… don’t know how I am seeing it through all the fog.. but I do.. I love you Sherry Owens! I love the way you kiss me.. the way you look into me.. the way you hold my hand and let me sleep holding you and knowing you are all I want and need within me.. the way you make me laugh and smile.. and the way that you love me back… it is still only a beginning that will never end.. I want you and I need you.. I got it! I know you will be very sad reading this… but read it and know the words I share with you are all that they are… they are words this does not mean I am ok… I am not ok… I am not happy with this at all.. I did a thing with Ray and realize I am just as angry as you and maybe more.. I don’t hate anyone but I hate Ron… I hate him for what he is and has put you through.. I also realized I love Kel C, Kasey, and Kia and even though you want to kill them at times.. they are you during the part of your life when you made those choices you made and they will hold that to them dearly… they are you and that is why I love them even more now then I did from when you first started sharing them with me.. they are you… and you are them… Christian is connected to you too… he will be confused for a minute but only a minute.. he will see me happy… cause he is my happiness.. and I will show him that… as the spirit up high has shared with me.. that will keep my glow bright and with you it will only be brighter.. This is hard for me.. but know that it is right for now.. I wonder though will you write me back.. or if you will even want me to be there hidden in the shadows… I hope so… I don’t know how I will be if I don’t have you in my life in some way… I think I have let it all out.. I am sure there is more.. but will wait to hear from you before it can come out.. I need you to feel my love forever.. my more than love touch.. as it never was physical but boy when it is.. lookout you take it all from me.. :-)… it was more than that… your truly my soulmate… a soul that is meant to be connected to my own… I love you… I love you so much.. the tears are still flowing can you feel them drop… I will continue to wipe them away… soon I will be numb… and focused again.. but it is all in stages… I want you Sherry Owens… I want you with all that I am… Lee
When I lost Sherry this was what came out of me, I didnt realize the date and when I was feeling it… this was my mothers birthday and she was still alive it was the summer of 2008 I told her about Sherry and she asked why I was not with her. She passed Nov of 2008 an I was in a world still with a connection just as strong as it was to my mother! I love you Sherry I hope I was worth the wait! I love you my Lois Lane!
