Family Magazine

When Adult Children Move Home

By Sandwichedboomers @SandwichBoomers

Attachment-1The phenomenon of adult children flying back to the nest has recently been called a favorable cultural shift. However, some women in the midst of spreading their own wings are struggling with that reality. If you’re the Mom of a Millennial who has boomeranged back, perhaps you’re reluctant to turn your new office back into a bedroom. But with huge student loans and no way to pay the rent, you may not be willing to deal with the negative emotions that come with saying no.

Could you use an anchor in the rough waters of transition? TRY THESE PRACTICAL TIPS about how to improve communication, set ground rules and boundaries as well as resolve conflict in your family. And the following ideas may be helpful as you guide your offspring toward greater independence:

Increase optimism. A positive mindset doesn’t diminish the fact that now you have a lot more responsibility and much less freedom. But changing your perspective and how you see the present circumstances can alter your experience. In part, don’t we all create our own reality?

Be supportive. As they make plans and take steps towards moving on, try to practice patience. Without an authority figure to rebel against, there may be less stress and frustration. You may want to encourage your adultolescents to do volunteer work as a way to explore career goals while making a difference.

Track progress. Journaling can help them stay grounded and motivated. Urge your kidults to list the obstacles and stumbling blocks they’re facing as well as their internal strengths and external resources. By writing regularly, they’ll feel more focused as they release mental toxins, explore complex feelings and deepen awareness.

Give it time. Be understanding as your boomerang kids open themselves up to new possibilities. It can take months to gain confidence, find work and adjust to the demands of the job. But discuss a move out date, as most surveys indicate that living back home should not exceed a year.

Remember that this is only a temporary stop on their quest for autonomy. Before long you’ll be re-feathering your empty nest. In the meantime, you don’t have to do it alone. LEARN MORE about our self-help book, “Whose Couch Is It Anyway?” and SIGN UP for our free monthly newsletter, “Stepping Stones.”


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