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But if you’re a parent, then you know that plans don’t always work out the way we want them to. Sometimes our children are little and have different ideas and will throw temper tantrums because you’re not following their plans (meaning you chose the blue cup instead of the green cup when it was so clearly evidenced by the grunts that that was the cup she wanted). Sometimes it’s simply a matter of multiple children with multiple different schedules and they don’t always mesh and you have to figure out how to be three places at once. For the record, no I have not figured out how to clone myself unfortunately and sometimes that means I have to disappoint a child or two to attend certain things.
And then I have the added pressures of a husband who works retail. That means most weekends he works. Most holidays, he works. He can request a day off, but he’s not always guaranteed to get it and to do that he needs to give at least two weeks notice. I’ll never forget how devastated I was when I had planned a surprise 30th anniversary party for my parents, my husband asked for the day off well in advance, and he did not get it. I might have cried, I might have cursed, and I might have thrown some things because I was so aggravated that they couldn’t just give him this one day off.
I had to suck it up and deal though. And everything went off without a hitch. I got guests to pitch in and help out and all was fine and my husband got to join us before the party ended. I have a lot of stories like that where my husband’s work schedule didn’t work out for a family function. But I don’t want to make this a complain about my husband’s job thing because when push comes to shove I am eternally grateful for the fact that he even has a job even if it can be extremely inconvenient at times. And because his job isn’t the only thing that throws monkey wrenches into my plans.
So How Do I Deal?
Well, sometimes I have my own mommy needs a time out temper tantrums as evidenced above. Okay, truth be told that tends to be my first reaction depending on how big the problem is.
And after I have my temper tantrum, I sometimes might even get a little depressed or concerned, then I go into planning mode overdrive. Because what I pictured of how something was going to happen isn’t my picture anymore and I need to give myself a new picture of events.
Not only that, sometimes I need to figure out a new course of action. For example, at a concert for my middle daughter last night we were told of the date of her final concert. I thought, hmmm that sounds familiar, what’s going on that day? Turns out my oldest daughter’s big end of the year 8th grade field trip is that day and they aren’t supposed to return to the school until late in the evening. So now I anxiously await the full details of the concert (exact time and location) so I can figure out if we’ll have time to pick up my oldest daughter, or if I should have someone on standby to pick her up on the off chance that they return to the school earlier than projected and we are still in concert for my middle daughter.
It crossed my mind for all of a second that maybe it’s just too much and we can’t do this concert for my middle daughter, but I quickly dispelled that notion. I’m sure we can swing it. We have to swing it! I can’t have her miss this concert. This is her final concert at the elementary school ever. She has to go. I’m bummed that her sister will miss it, but that’s what video is for.
The Unknowns Makes Me Anxious
I really hate unknowns. I will be on the edge of my seat until I get all of the information I need so I can put my ducks in a row.
Parenting has taught me though that you can’t prepare for everything. You really just don’t know. A few years ago I had to cancel my oldest daughter’s birthday party because her little brother was vomiting everywhere. How do you prepare for that? I felt awful disappointing her like that. But you all know I’ve got the best kids ever, right? I mean seriously my daughter didn’t question anything when I told her that we couldn’t have her party because her brother was so sick. She just wanted him to get better. Once he was, then she was wondering what we were going to do about her party. We had to push it back I think a week and unfortunately that meant only one of her friends could come, but it was her best friend and we made up for it by going bowling.
So things always work out in the end. I have relaxed a lot when those unknowns pop up. I have gotten better at not letting those negatives define what happens and looking for the positives or finding a way to make the best of things.
With all these eyes on me I kind of have to do that. If I crumble, then my kids will crumble too. They are looking to me for direction and to be the strong one so I really can’t let these little things phase me and have to figure out a way to just make it work.
How do you handle the little unknowns in life?
