Culture Magazine

What is XXX Really About?

By Newguy

What is XXX really about?casting card

This as always is just fun tongue in cheek look at the film.

XXX is one of the film title much like Deep Impact, Double Impact and Shaving Ryan’s Privates you can’t look up on the internet with you parents.

parents internet

This is Mark Sinclair better known as Vin Diesel’s first solo leading role with only one Fast and the Furious Film under his belt.

vin

Rammstein are in this movie singing a song with the lyrics bang bang which works for all the gun shooting happening.

rammstein

Agent finds himself trapped being hunted down by bad guys with music to cover any gun shots.

trappped

Crowd surfing dead body well it is a metal band.

crowd surfing

Samuel L Jackson as a recruiting agent for a secret operation for the government well this doesn’t sound too much like Nick Fury audition.

nickk fury

Vin Diesel is in the wrong film franchise by stealing a fast car and jumping off a bridge.

wrong film

Also it is one car does he really need 6 police car chasing him.

vereaction cop

Urban campaigning with extreme sports because rock music isn’t bad and video games don’t make you do this, well until Grand Theft Auto 5 came out.

parachute

Vin Diesel still works a dominate strong woman with an attitude.

whipped

Party time, I am untouchable, nope party it over and getting shot by a tranquiliser.

nope 2

Worst training idea ever, with a poor man Will Smith Men in Black explanation.

ook good

Vin Diesel meet his stunt double in a plane.

stunt double

Cue the second training mission which turns out to be a real mission and a drug ring.

round two

This director likes using the multiply camera angles much like Grand Theft Auto in the Stunt Jumps.

camera

Frankenstein (which only the doctor not the monster, so bad writing) and Scarface reference made within 1 minute to try and make Xander look like a bad ass against authority.

bullying

I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse, well you are going to jail unless you help me.

offer

Czech Republic, well I guess bigger cities were too expensive.

czech republic

Xander Cage is such an attempted badass name but the only Xander I know is the geeky guy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the only Cage I know well, The Bees Not the Bees.

not the bees
xander

Xander plays the Gone in Sixty Seconds Card to get close the villain.

six secong

The story is way to lucky that one of the henchman knows Xander to make this actually happen.

lucky

Care package is the gadget man that feels like a Bond rip off.

gadgt

Smoking kills reference and yes this is 2002.

smoking kills

Horror icon Dario Argento’s daughter is the Bond girl of the film.

bond girl

That really awkward kiss by Vin Diesel.

awkwar kiss

Cover busted, go home, No got to save girl.

busted

Missile weapon because bad guys and shit.

secret weapon

More extreme sports because we all know he is good at it now.

extreme sprts

Double twist well we saw one coming.

twist

More extreme sports but this feels like Inception could have copied it.

snow borading

Let’s make an Avalanche because that won’t be dangerous.

avaance

He survived this.

survived

Give away master plan before executing to cliché.

mst pln

A must switch the safety off first gag.

safety first

Final epic, well meant to be epic chase down a river.

chasing

Welcome to the Xander zone, worst catchphrase ever.

catchphrase


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