We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions. ~ Brené Brown
I grew up in a climate that was greatly shaped by clichés. Two had a particular impact on me: Think before you speak and If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. As I got older, I added the principle of taking every thought captive (2 Cor 5:5).
Times have changed. We’re socially evolved. Every thought/action/reaction is # without a ponderous thought.
But I put those original principles together and charted a life course. I tried to mitigate all of what I perceived as potentially negative by not talking and by taking my thoughts captive and burying them alive. I grew up with no template for working through ‘negative’ emotions/reactions - mine or others’.
I didn’t confront, argue, defend or even engage. I just kept digging more holes and waited for time to suffocate the feelings.
Prisoners, by definition, are subjugated to some kind of authority. Clearly taking every thought captive doesn’t mean to bury, it means to subjugate to God. I didn’t subjugate, I annihilated.
I thought this was holy and right but I was wrong. I not only buried feelings, I buried relationships and I buried bits of myself. I buried those bits that may or may not have been acceptable to others, I’ll never know. They weren’t acceptable to me.
When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.
I don’t hash-tag my feelings. I’m a selective sharer but I’m learning to value offering something to others that carries emotional risk.
I want to be the real deal. Wholly engaged people share real thoughts and real feelings that span the spectrum: love, fear, hurt, joy, disappointment, anger, hope, pain….
God, who is very into real, leaves His mark everywhere: # Grace.
