Five Stages of Grief
When a relationship breaks up, a person usually passes through five stages of grief and sorrow. [Also Read: Five Tips to Break-up a Relationship Amicably
Shock
The first jolt that a person feels is the shock when he learns that his partner has left him for good. The affected person may remain in a state of shock for a period that depends upon the intensity of relationship that had existed between the two. The length of relationship also matters. The longer the relationship the more the shock will it create once it breaks up.
Denial
Denial id the second stage through which the person passes after the breakup. The person is not mentally ready to believe what all has happened to him. He would at times be talking to himself by saying, "How can she leave me? No, she cannot do that. Am I so unassuming a person that she didn't feel to continue the relationship with me? Is someone much better than me that she has been compelled to leave me? We had been passing very good time together and had been discussing very close and intimate issues. How can she suddenly change her mind?" All these questions would prop up in the mind and the answers given by the affected person would always be in the negative. This stage would continue for sometimes.
Sadness
A state of gloom and dismay will follow after this. The person would feel depressed and withdrawn and may lose interest in the activities of life. He may avoid meeting the friends, attending the social functions and may not take interest in professional or academic activities. The person may also stop taking interest in personal matters like dresses and makeup. The gloom will be clearly visible from the face of the person who will behave in a manner as if he has lost something very precious.
Acceptance
Last stage is the acceptance of facts and ground realities. When the gloom starts fading away the person realizes that the breakup has actually happened and there is no point in denying that fact. He would then see the world around him more realistically and understand that this is not something unusual that has happened to him and that it is part of the game. He would recall that many of his associates have also passed through this experience and he is not alone in this regard. The person then comes to terms with the realities and starts thinking about ways and means to tackle this problem.
Phases of Relationship During the Breakup
Once the breakup occurs and you go through the stages as explained above, your relationship with your partner also goes through three phases. [Read: How to Fix the Relationship in Married Life]
Phase-1. Reaction to the Situation
What would be your reaction to the decision of your partner to leave you depends on many factors. What is your temperament? Are you emotional or self composed? Are you sensitive or rigid? An emotional person is likely to burst out in anger and vent his feelings without any hesitation. A composed person would absorb the shock and take some time to show his reaction. Similarly the reaction would depend on how deeply you were involved with your partner. If the love was not so deep or it was still in infancy stage, your reaction to the breakup will not be so violent and vice versa.
Phase-2. Decision About Continuing the Relationship
This phase entails your decision about what to do practically with the breakup. Should you approach your partner or leave the person to take some time to think over it? Should you admit your faults and apologize from your partner? This phase will again depend on the degree of involvement with the person in question.
Phase-3. Recuperation
This is the last phase in such a situation where you are to make a final decision whether or not the exiting relation may continue. Obviously you are not the only one to make this decision, rather it grossly depends on your partner as well. If your partner is not ready to reconcile and sticks to the decision of a breakup, then you are left with no other option but to withdraw and search for some other relationship.
Also Read:
How to Patch Up the Relationship in a Married Life Ways on How to Make up with Boyfriend After a Fight
