Humor Magazine

What Am I Thinking? Oh, Not Much...

By Pearl
“The walk to the bus may have looked like any other, but Monday was the day that changed everything.”
I’ve been known to narrate my life. Not aloud, of course, because that would be unseemly. No use in frightening my fellow citizens.
Honestly, the commentary in my head is usually more entertaining than what’s going on around me.
I don’t limit my narrations to my life, though. I’m willing to narrate yours as well.
“Little did the woman pinching the tomatoes know, but the person next to her at the Farmer’s Market, the person inspecting the turnips, then the rutabagas, was her brother Frank, the man who had left for the Navy 15 years ago only to be struck by lightning and left wandering, witless all these years, in his pursuit of the perfect root vegetable.”
My lips don’t move when I do this, so it’s perfectly normal.
Now if my lips moved
I sometimes see people’s lips moving. They’re walking down the street, fully engaged in something or other. Before Bluetooth and teeny-tiny headphones, this was more amusing than it is now. Like the 'rahr, rahr, rahr' of a dog with a mouthful of peanut butter, one could envision any monolog one liked. Now, however, rather than imagining someone reciting the “My-mother-was-right-and-I’m-leaving-you-you-cheap-SOB” speech as they push their grocery cart through the dairy section, the odds are actually much better that the words they are speaking into the world’s smallest phone are more along the lines of “I’ll be home soon! Do we need milk?”


So I’m going to continue to create little fantasy lives around them, what they’re saying, where they’re going, why they’re meeting.
Oh, if only they knew how happy they make me, these lip-moving people, or how much I love them.

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