Yes this is one of them what I’ve learned running this website style posts, but without the phaggy gay shit.
I realized the other day that it has been almost 5 years since I’ve started what I think a is a comprehensive resource for anyone moving to Bangkok, while others see it as a sexpat blog peppered with racist, homophobic and sexist comments, which is also true.
Here’s what I’ve learned during my time blogging.
I don’t know what normal is anymore
Each morning when I switch on my phone, these are the types of messages I receive:
And this:
At 10 am I’ve not even made my gym gains for the day when I am exposed to the above.
Imagine if your friend banged someone in a porn movie, how insane would that be?
Better yet, if you thought you had sex with a ladyboy in Bangkok, would you post it in a group chat at 5:30 am, well that’s what my friends do.
Nothing is shocking anymore, in my world it is okay to pay a ladyboy money so you can sleep with her after a drunken night out, (no really I think it’s totally fine as long as she has nice feet).
None of the 14 group members in the chat made fun of my friend afterward, because we all know every now and then one of us may end up sleeping with a ladyboy prostitute- it happens.
Chalk it up as a lesson learned.
I went to a club on Soi 11 a few months ago and a mamasan who runs a massage shop I know well was there.
She invites me to her table, buys me and my friend unlimited drinks for the next 3 hours and then tells me I can sleep with any of the girls on her table for free, oh and if I don’t like the girls that I can go visit her shop tomorrow and sleep with anyone who is there, again for free.
The more I live in this social circle the more I realize how truly free I am. There are fewer hang-ups compared to other circles which have stupid ass logic and taboos.
All my friends in this world have some kind of flaw that everyone celebrates, where in the west they would be castrated.
Oh I’m not without my flaws either, just look at how many times I’ve mentioned feet in this article.
Lots of guys are having sex with ladyboys with nice feet
When you think of someone sleeping with a ladyboy, in most cases you assume the guy was really drunk and didn’t know it was a ladyboy until the morning… or that she had really nice feet and nail proportions.
While that is sometimes the case (see above), there are much more people who come to Thailand just to sleep with ladyboys.
I know at least 3 good friends who sleep with ladyboys and I’m almost positive that several more of my friends do too but they just don’t admit it because of the stigma attached.
If you’re an expat living in Thailand, I would say that 10% of your friends knowingly sleep with ladyboys, I’m sure if Gallup did an anonymous poll that it would reveal 10-20% of expats knowingly sleep with ladyboys.
Hey, I ain’t judging.
Everyone is having sex with hookers
Another stereotype most people believe is that it’s only older men (40+) who sleep with hookers, this is not true.
Everyone sleeps with hookers, even the people who planned on not doing it.
The amount of friends I have who are good looking (#NoHomo) with a decent income under the age of 28, and sleep with Thai hookers would blow your mind (hint: it’s almost all of them).
Some of them would rather sleep with a hooker than get a normal girl off Thai Cupid because it’s less effort.
Don’t get it twisted, people of all ages (19-50+) are sleeping with hookers on a daily.
Note: I should add that my friends don’t exclusively sleep with hookers, many have girlfriends and cheat on them with normal non-working girls and hookers.
Note 2: Okay everyone expat isn’t sleeping with hookers, but more than you think are.
Note 3: Before I piss off people who do PUA (pick up artists) or game the meme below sums them up:
I’ve empowered so many people
Back when my blog wasn’t popular I made the mistake of meeting some of my savage readers. Many of who said they made the move to Bangkok because they read my blog.
I also receive emails from people who bought my best-selling eBook on how to become a freelancer and said how they now work online and live in Thailand because of it.
My piece of shit guide has helped so many people improve their lives, I almost feel bad for only charging $9 for my eBook now.
Dudes only go on holiday for sex
That’s not an opinion, it’s a factual statement.
Unless a guy is a white knight or is going on holiday with his girlfriend/wife, the primary reason he is going on holiday is to get laid.
This is why the whole independent location work thing has kicked off and is appealing to guys, it’s not because they want to see the sights, it’s because they want to get laid and being an outsider in a new country gives you a head start over people who live there.
I’ll talk about this more in a future blog post.
I’ve even had married guys message me asking how they can sneak away from their wife for a few hours to get a massage.
Do I tell people I run this website?
Fo’ sure.
If someone asks me what I do I just tell them:
“I run a sex website telling men how to get laid and live in Asia”
At this point, they then ask me again what I really do and I tell them the exact same thing but this time with a serious expression on my face.
By telling people that I run such a website I found acts as a real life filter, the people who think it’s bad or wrong to run such a site almost immediately eject themselves from my life.
Some people say they would never admit in real life that they own this site but I guess that’s why they don’t run this site and I do.
I’m just an artist expressing oneself in the written form. While I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I say (because I chat a lot of shit) I’m creating art about my life experiences.
Indians and Pakistanis are probably the worst sex tourists
I think you already knew this but I just wanted to confirm your suspicion. I receive 1 email per week from Indian men like this:
Other weeks it will be like this:
uw0tm8?
They literally are sewer rats. I don’t want to paint all Indians and Pakistani’s with the same brush as many who weren’t born there or grew up outside aren’t like this, but the natives are pretty bad.
Summary
You’d think in those 5 years I’d have learned something about new cultures, how liberating traveling is or mentioned all the awesome people I’ve met on the way but….
For other expats who have lived in Thailand for so long, how has your life changed over the years, and do you like clean, painted feet?
